Woman Left Scarred from Skin-Picking Disorder That Began with Her Mother’s Death: ‘I Started to Claw at My Skin’

**A Journey of Resilience: Jennifer Barton’s Battle with Dermatillomania**

Jennifer Barton, a writer from the UK, has opened up about her two-decade-long struggle with dermatillomania, a skin-picking disorder that has left her with physical scars and emotional turmoil. Her journey began in her early twenties, shortly after the death of her mother, when what started as a coping mechanism spiralled into a severe affliction, leading to feelings of shame and distress over the years.

Barton first began her skin-picking behaviour at the age of 20. Reflecting on this time, she recalled feeling overwhelmed and resorting to picking at a small blemish on her skin. Initially, she did not consider her actions to be harmful. “At that moment, I thought it was just a minor issue,” she explained during her appearance on *This Morning*. However, she later recognised that this act of picking was a maladaptive way to cope with her grief.

As time went on, her behaviour escalated. Barton noted that it started with one visible spot and led to what she described as a “snowball” effect. “I would return to the scab and find other areas on my skin to pick at,” she shared. This cycle had serious consequences, leaving her face “swollen” and “bloody.” She found herself losing hours to this compulsive behaviour, often entering a trance-like state where time seemed to slip away until the early hours of the morning when she would finally snap back to reality.

Dermatillomania, classified as an obsessive-compulsive disorder, often results in serious injuries, infections, and scars. According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can contribute to a diminished sense of well-being and heighten feelings of anxiety and stress. For Barton, the act of picking became a “meditative release,” despite the subsequent feelings of guilt and embarrassment that often followed.

The realisation of the severity of her condition hit Barton several years ago when she sought treatment for broken blood vessels around her nose. A dermatologist informed her that her injuries were self-inflicted, prompting her to confront the reality of her disorder. However, she found that the focus of treatments she received was on covering up the damage rather than addressing the psychological aspects of the condition.

Barton has committed considerable resources to manage her disorder, spending hundreds on treatments including “painful and horrible” laser procedures. Despite initially feeling hope that these treatments might put an end to her struggles, she soon found herself back in the cycle of picking. “I’ve made deals with myself to stop, promising that if I invested in expensive makeup, I wouldn’t pick again,” Barton recalled, only to find herself reverting to old habits.

As a mother to four daughters, Barton has been determined to set a positive example. She has tried various methods to break the cycle, from using fidget toys to putting on fake nails and even wearing gloves to mitigate her impulse to pick. In addition to these strategies, she has also sought therapy and counselling to better understand her behaviour and learn healthier coping mechanisms.

Recently, Barton has found a glimmer of hope in her journey. She expressed pride in managing to go without picking for an extended period, leading her to feel more confident in her skin. Having completed a yoga training programme, she hopes to continue exploring avenues that foster calm and resilience without resorting to self-punishment. “There’s always hope,” she stated, alluding to her ongoing commitment to managing her dermatillomania.

For anyone grappling with mental health issues, emotions of distress, or addictive behaviours, support is available. Resources like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline offer 24/7 assistance for those in need of a listening ear or professional help. Barton’s story serves as a reminder that while the journey may be long and challenging, understanding and support can pave the way towards recovery.