Maren Morris, the acclaimed country music artist, took to TikTok recently to share her insights on gender norms and the emotional upbringing of her six-year-old son, Hayes. In a video posted on Sunday, April 5, she recounted a significant conversation with a male acquaintance that revolved around traditional notions of masculinity.
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In her video, Morris expressed her gratitude for the supportive women in her life who aid in raising her son. She remarked, “I’m so proud of the moms and also the women in my life who don’t have kids helping me raise a beautiful one.” Her comments were prompted by a heated discussion about her parenting approach in the Southern United States, where gender stereotypes can be particularly entrenched.
She highlighted how seemingly minor societal expectations can influence young boys, citing common misconceptions as exemplified by the idea that only girls should enjoy colours like pink or characters like Spider-Man. “It’s my job as his parent to correct that and be like, ‘Actually, anyone can like the colour pink. I like Spider-Man,’” Morris elaborated. Her approach aims to empower her son against the pressures he may face from peers or society.
However, her views met with resistance from her acquaintance, who dismissed her concerns and insisted that boys should indeed ‘toughen up.’ Morris recalled feeling a surge of anger but chose to remain composed, countering his assertion with, “No, he doesn’t need to toughen up, actually.” She reflected on her son’s character, noting that while Hayes is not prone to tears, he is a sensitive and multifaceted child who enjoys activities ranging from baseball to musicals.
Hayes’s interests are diverse; he loves painting, making jewellery, and even enjoys experimenting with nail polish. “He’s a person,” Morris stated emphatically, highlighting the importance of allowing children to freely express their emotions and interests without shame. “Our job is just to never shame them for expressing those things. It’s the best part about being a kid.”
As the conversation with her acquaintance escalated, he became increasingly upset when Morris maintained her stance that Hayes does not need to conform to outdated definitions of toughness. She observed that, unlike her acquaintance, her son has developed the emotional skills to articulate his feelings. Hayes can express when he is frustrated or overwhelmed, and knows how to take time for himself when needed.
Morris praised her support system while raising Hayes, particularly thanks to the compassionate individuals around her. She noted that traditional teachings often encourage boys to suppress emotions other than anger. However, she finds hope as she witnesses a new generation of children, including Hayes and his friends, being nurtured in a way that breaks these harmful patterns.
Her optimism is grounded in the belief that boys and girls alike can grow up in emotionally healthy environments, which may lead to a more compassionate future. Morris concluded her video with a call for open dialogue about these topics, emphasizing the significance of discussing emotions and societal expectations.
“I don’t know if that guy storming off learned anything — he was pissed — but I just felt bad for him,” she remarked, expressing relief at her own parenting choices. Morris is adamant about ensuring that her son is raised in an environment free from the stigma of emotion, unlike those who may feel confined within a ‘prison of shame and anger.’
Morris shares Hayes with her ex-husband, Ryan Hurd. The couple, who first collaborated in 2013, tied the knot in March 2018. However, their relationship has since come to an end, with Morris filing for divorce in 2023 and finalising the proceedings in January 2024.
With the conversation around gender roles and emotional upbringing gaining traction, Morris’s experience sheds light on the importance of cultivating an environment where children can thrive emotionally. As she continues her journey of parenthood, Morris remains committed to raising Hayes in a way that champions emotional expression and individuality, highlighting the potential for growth in the next generation.