My Debut Novel Was First Inspired by Gossip. But Along the Way, It Taught Me About Queer Friendship (Exclusive)

**Navigating Chosen Family: The Complexities of Queer Relationships Explored in Kim Narby’s ‘Saturn Returning’**

In her debut novel, *Saturn Returning*, author Kim Narby delves into the intricate world of queer relationships and the concept of chosen family. With the book created during the early stages of lockdown, Narby’s story is shaped by personal experiences and friendships that are anything but straightforward.

Narby’s inspiration struck when a chance conversation on Hinge revealed the tangled lives of three characters—Jordan, Trace, and Silvia. These individuals find themselves entwined in a love triangle, reflecting the complexities that can arise in queer relationships. The narrative unravels the impact such entanglements can have on one’s sense of belonging and connection within a chosen family, a theme particularly relevant for those who navigate the LGBTQ+ community.

The author recounts her own journey of self-discovery, beginning when she came out in Boston at 23. At that time, she felt like a late bloomer in the LGBTQ+ world, as many of her peers had developed extensive queer networks during their university years. In Boston, Narby thrived in the exhilarating rush of romantic pursuits but soon realised that when relationships ended, so too did her connections with those mutual friends.

Reflecting on these experiences, she acknowledges that what initially began as a narrative focused solely on a love triangle evolved into a deeper exploration of friendship dynamics. The book prompts readers to question the nature of chosen family, addressing the often-painful realities that come with such relationships. Narby candidly notes that while chosen family can provide solace and support, it can also introduce toxicity and dependence.

After relocating to New York City at 28, Narby’s perspective began to shift. She made a conscious effort to cultivate a community before embarking on new romantic ventures. Her foray into a local book club proved to be pivotal. It was here that she discovered a group of like-minded individuals, some of whom identified as queer and whom she instantly connected with.

Over the years, Narby wove her way into the vibrant fabric of queer life in New York. This included attending events like the Dyke March and forming unintended but meaningful bonds with her newfound friends. Through shared experiences like dogsitting and group holidays, these friendships flourished, leaving her feeling safely enveloped in a loving community.

However, as her friendships blossomed, complexities also arose. The dynamics within her social circle led to miscommunications, gossip, and feelings of exclusion. Narby’s candid examination of these issues reveals the delicate balance required to maintain healthy relationships within a closely-knit group.

In the aftermath of the pandemic, Narby found that the friendships forged during lockdown began to change. While some remained steadfast, others faltered, causing her to reflect on the transient nature of relationships. She recalls a poignant conversation with a friend, who reminded her that just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t equate to failure. Instead, it’s an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Narby’s journey through her friendships has transformed her understanding of being part of a community. She acknowledges her former expectations and dependencies, recognising how they may have contributed to feelings of loneliness rather than connection. This reflective lens offers profound insights, particularly for those navigating the emotional landscape of queer relationships.

Now, Narby enjoys a diverse array of friendships—old and new—and a shift in how she chooses to socialise. With an inclination towards intimate gatherings rather than large group outings, she has redefined her understanding of closeness. Recent gatherings revolve around meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and genuine understanding of one another.

*Saturn Returning* isn’t merely a tale of romantic entanglements; it serves as a thoughtful exploration of the challenges inherent in chosen family dynamics. Kim Narby’s work resonates deeply with anyone who has grappled with the complexities of love, friendship, and belonging within the queer community.

As we witness Narby navigate her experiences through her writing, we’re reminded that chosen family is a nuanced concept—one that can bring joy, heartache, and invaluable lessons. *Saturn Returning* invites readers to reflect on their own journeys of connection, proving that in the ever-evolving landscape of relationships, it’s the trials and tribulations that often lead to the most profound personal growth.

*Saturn Returning* by Kim Narby is now available in bookstores and online, offering a compelling narrative that reflects the complexities of human connections in a relatable and engaging manner.