Jennie Garth, the well-known star of *Beverly Hills, 90210*, has opened up about her tumultuous journey following her 2012 separation from actor Peter Facinelli in her new memoir titled *I Choose Me: Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose, and Embracing Reinvention*. The memoir sheds light on her struggles with anxiety and depression, revealing how she turned to alcohol and prescription medications to cope during a particularly difficult time in her life.
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During a recent appearance on Dax Shepard’s *Armchair Expert* podcast, Garth candidly recounted the period after her marriage ended. “I just didn’t know how to cope with all the feelings and all the responsibility that I suddenly felt,” the 54-year-old actress shared. Feeling lost and alone, Garth confessed that she began drinking wine and using benzodiazepines—a class of drugs that are commonly prescribed for anxiety relief—in an attempt to self-soothe.
Describing her state of mind during that era, Garth said, “I have no idea what happened in that era of my life.” She recalled the struggle of getting out of bed, taking care of her three daughters, and managing to face the camera for her reality show while battling her internal turmoil. “I would take the girls to school, and then I would go back to bed,” she explained, revealing the deep sense of despair that accompanied her daily routine.
The downward spiral culminated when Facinelli expressed his desire for a divorce, prompting Garth to seek out therapy. In a pivotal moment, a therapist questioned her why she would want to stay married to someone who no longer loved her. Shortly thereafter, in a desperate attempt to escape her pain, Garth checked into a hotel and began drinking heavily from the minibar, mixing alcohol with anxiety medication. She described the harrowing experience of blacking out, leaving her best friend, who was on the phone with her, well aware that she was in danger.
Garth’s reality took a dark turn as she ended up in the hospital after her stomach had to be pumped. “I’m looking at my assistant and whiteness and doctors, and everything’s very fuzzy,” she recalled of the experience. The incident marked a pivotal moment for Garth, who realised she was at a critical crossroads, confronting the stark reality of her situation.
The actress expressed her feelings of shame and disappointment, particularly concerned about how her actions had affected her daughters, Luca, 28, Lola, 23, and Fiona, 19. “I think this shame really came from letting the girls down and from being a bad mum by letting myself go to that place,” Garth reflected. She acknowledged that she could have easily lost her life in that hotel room.
Determined to turn her life around, Garth entered Canyon Ranch rehab. She admitted to being “very worried” that news of her stay might become public, fearing the potential impact on her children. The intention behind her rehabilitation was to break free from the harmful cycle of self-medication and to heal.
Garth has since forged a cooperative co-parenting relationship with Facinelli, a significant step toward rebuilding her life. In a recent interview with *PEOPLE*, she discussed the emotional burden she carried for years following the separation. “I spent a good amount of years being angry, hurt, sad, just tormented by it, and it eked out into all aspects of my life,” she noted. The actress reflected on how this negativity dimmed her spirit and adversely affected her self-image.
Through her memoir, Garth hopes to inspire others who may be facing similar struggles. She advocates for the importance of acknowledging one’s mental health challenges and seeking help when needed. Her journey of reinvention and self-discovery serves as a testament to resilience, reminding readers that it’s possible to emerge from darkness into a place of joy and purpose.
As Garth prepares for the release of *I Choose Me*, she reveals that the journey to self-acceptance and healing has been transformative. She emphasises that it is possible to reclaim one’s life, highlighting the importance of prioritising oneself amidst life’s challenges.