Prince Harry Says He Felt ‘Guilty’ Allowing Himself to Be Happy Without Princess Diana

Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, has candidly opened up about his journey through grief and healing in a recent episode of MasterClass, where he reflects on the loss of his mother, Princess Diana. The programme delves into his emotional state following her tragic death in 1997 when he was just 12 years old, and aims to provide insights into dealing with grief.

In this revealing session, the 42-year-old royal shared that he grappled with feelings of guilt associated with happiness after his mother’s passing. He described a profound sense of obligation to be sad, believing that he needed to demonstrate his sorrow to honour her memory. Harry conveyed, “I felt like I had to be sad, and I had to be emotionally numb in order to prove to her that I missed her.” This emotional shutdown, he explained, served as a defence mechanism, allowing him to concentrate on immediate tasks—a mindset that he later referred to as a “superpower” during his military service.

However, Harry acknowledged that this emotional detachment was merely a means of avoiding true grief. “It was the perfect distraction from actually experiencing my grief,” he candidly stated, recognising that this coping strategy had become an impediment to his emotional recovery. He explained the anxiety that accompanied the thought of healing: he feared that confronting his grief might sever his perceived connection to his mother.

A significant shift in Harry’s perspective came when he realised that Princess Diana would have wished for him to find joy in his life. This realisation marked a turning point, which he described as “a huge mental shift”. He elaborated on how this understanding liberated him from the chains of guilt: “It freed me and it gave me a whole different outlook on life,” he remarked.

Harry also discussed the importance of being attuned to one’s physical and emotional responses, particularly in relation to adrenaline surges. He stated, “The key to it all is knowing yourself and knowing how your nervous system and your whole body reacts to certain situations.” For him, adopting breathing exercises has proven effective in managing stress and anxiety, even as he continues to navigate these challenges. “It’s still a work in progress for me,” he admitted, reflecting on the ongoing struggle with feelings of tightness and shallow breathing.

In a poignant moment during the MasterClass, Harry recounted how he finally cried during his mother’s burial, away from public scrutiny. He described the release as unexpectedly comforting: “I remember thinking or feeling that it actually felt really good to cry.” Yet, he also acknowledged that denial followed; he held onto a protective belief that his mother would somehow return, a sentiment that lingered for a decade.

The trauma of her loss led Harry into emotional shutdown, impacting both painful and cherished memories of Diana. He remarked, “I forgot what my mum sounded like. I forgot her laugh.” This loss of connection highlights the deep impact of grief on memory, emphasising how it can cloud one’s recollection of even joyful moments.

Today, Harry finds joy in his family life with his wife, Meghan Markle, and their two children, Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet. He expressed the importance of striking a balance between his philanthropic commitments and family obligations. “The biggest factor for me is the energy and the joy and happiness that I get being with my family,” he noted. To maintain this balance, he sets limits on his time away from his family, stating that he aims not to be more than ten days apart from them.

Harry’s participation in MasterClass came about following the platform’s invitation to create a class focused on grief. He filmed the episode in California over the summer, and it has been released just in time for World Mental Health Day, which falls on October 10. The initiative supports two bereavement charities, Comfort Zone Camp and Scotty’s Little Soldiers, further reflecting Harry’s commitment to aiding those in similar situations.

Through his exploration of grief, Prince Harry seeks not only to share his personal journey but also to offer guidance to others wrestling with their own losses. By openly discussing his struggles and breakthroughs, he hopes to foster understanding and facilitate healing among those touched by grief.