**The Journey Towards Forgiveness: Jennifer Hubbard’s Heartfelt Memoir**
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In the wake of unimaginable tragedy, Jennifer Hubbard, mother of Catherine Hubbard, a victim of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, speaks candidly about her journey of forgiveness and healing in her new memoir, *Forgiving the Unforgivable*, which was released on October 1. The poignant narrative reflects on the profound loss of her six-year-old daughter, who was one of twenty first graders killed on December 14, 2012.
Jennifer Hubbard recalls the last moments she shared with Catherine, highlighting the cheerful disposition of her daughter that fateful morning. As they prepared to leave for school, Catherine, who typically found going to school distressing, boarded the bus with a bright smile and a cheerful wave. Their neighbour, witnessing the moment, reassured Hubbard, stating, “She’s going to be okay. There she goes.” Tragically, the optimism of that morning was shattered forever when Catherine did not return home.
Reflecting on the impact of that day, Hubbard admits that nearly fourteen years later, she is still grappling with the enormity of her loss. “In the blink of an eye, my life was turned upside down,” she shares, yet finds solace in her faith, believing that Catherine is in a better place. “She’s where we, as people of faith, hope to one day aspire.”
Hubbard’s experience of grief has not only been shaped by the loss of her daughter but has also significantly affected her family dynamics. Following the tragedy, her marriage to Matthew Hubbard ended after two decades, and their son Freddy, who was a classmate of Catherine, faced challenges of his own as a survivor of the trauma. “Freddy and Catherine were ‘peas in a pod’,” she shares, illustrating their close bond. While Freddy had aspirations to care for the environment, Catherine displayed a tender affection for animals, often collecting them to ensure their safety before releasing them back into nature.
In honour of Catherine’s memory and spirit, Hubbard founded the Catherine Violet Hubbard Animal Sanctuary in Newtown. The sanctuary serves as a testament to Catherine’s love for animals, transforming grief into a purposeful legacy. In addition to her efforts to create a safe haven for animals, Hubbard has dedicated herself to travelling across the country as a Catholic speaker and retreat leader, spreading messages of healing and resilience.
Despite her active engagement in these meaningful ventures, Hubbard acknowledges that the journey has been fraught with moments of darkness. In the immediate aftermath of the shooting, as she navigated her own grief, she began to wrestle with the concept of forgiveness. Reflecting on her quiet moments of prayer and reflection, she explains, “It was that stillness, as the house was quiet, that I began to really wrestle with all of the disappointment and sadness.”
Hubbard’s exploration of forgiveness took a pivotal turn during a speaking engagement where an audience member posed a question that lingered in her mind: “But how do you forgive?” It was a question she found herself unable to answer, prompting years of introspection on her path to forgiveness. Her memoir, she notes, represents her carefully considered reflections on this complex issue.
“Forgiveness, on every level, is possible, but it takes time, and that’s okay,” Hubbard states, emphasising the importance of taking the necessary steps towards peace of mind. Her journey toward forgiving her daughter’s killer reflects a broader understanding of forgiveness as a release from the burdens of anger and resentment.
In a recent moment of profound joy, Hubbard witnessed a significant milestone in her son Freddy’s life, which reaffirmed her faith in healing and resilience. Freddy, now 22 years old, graduated with a degree in sustainable agriculture and has begun his first full-time job, pursuing the passion he shares for the environment. “I looked over at him, and he had found his way,” says Hubbard, reflecting on the unexpected paths that grief can carve for families.
As she concludes her reflections, Hubbard expresses a mix of sorrow and hope, acknowledging the arduous journey of losing a child: “Losing a child is unfathomable, but I also wouldn’t change it for the world because of seeing Freddy as the person that he is.” This poignant realisation encapsulates the depth of her resilience and capacity for love amid profound loss.
Through her memoir, *Forgiving the Unforgivable*, Jennifer Hubbard invites readers to join her on a poignant journey of forgiveness, hope, and the enduring bonds of family.