Sara Haines, co-host of “The View,” recently shared her reflections on parenting and personal growth in an interview with PEOPLE. As a mother to three children—Alec, aged 10, Caleb, aged 7, and Sandra, aged 8—Haines has found that the reality of motherhood often diverges from her initial expectations.
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In her candid discussion, Haines revealed how a friend’s advice prompted her to rethink her reactions to challenging situations with her children. The 48-year-old television presenter stated that she had been falling into “knee-jerk” responses that stemmed from her upbringing rather than from her intentions as a mother. She reflected, “You have all these thoughts of what you’re going to be like as a parent and you think about it in your head. And then on the job, you find your knee-jerk reaction is more in response to how you were raised than all of the thoughtful things you put in place.”
Haines has noticed this phenomenon manifested particularly during moments of stress at home, where she found herself responding in ways similar to how her mother would have reacted. “I found myself responding as my mum would,” she explained. “It was as if I was saying, ‘You kids need to stop. What are you doing to me?’”
However, this revelation led her to reconsider her approach. Following her friend’s guidance, she started asking herself a question that transformed her mindset: “What’s happening for them right now, and how can I help that?” This shift, according to Haines, allowed her to move beyond personal feelings of frustration and to engage more compassionately with her children’s needs. “It really took away kind of the inner ego of the world is doing something to me,” she added.
Haines noted that this lesson has broader applications beyond her family life. “That’s all human relationships,” she remarked, emphasising how stepping back from personalising interactions can lead to a deeper understanding of others. This shift in perspective fosters connection, as one learns to be less reactive when faced with challenges.
As her children continue to grow, Haines has become increasingly aware of the fleeting nature of time. She expressed this sentiment after spending summer with them, saying, “Kids are more present as they discover the world, and it holds time slower—or that’s how it’s perceived.” Haines sought to immerse herself in her children’s experiences to slow down time and appreciate those moments together.
Reflecting on the recent summer, she shared, “It was fun. It was so summery. They always smelled like sunscreen and chlorine and salt water.” In a light-hearted manner, she added, “and some other mystery smells—that’s just Caleb, so it’s fine.”
Sara Haines, who rejoined “The View” in 2020 after a brief hiatus, has been a staple on the show since its inception. Her journey began in 2016 when she first became a co-host. Recalling her childhood experiences of watching the programme with her brother, she expressed profound gratitude for her tenure at “The View.” As the programme celebrates its 30th season, Haines remarked, “It truly bottles up the gratitude and the honour and appreciation of being in a place like this.”
Throughout her career, Haines has been open about the challenges of motherhood, particularly her struggles with postpartum experiences. However, she clarified that she refrains from discussing these issues during their most intense phases. “I always say I don’t stand at this table and say it because I want to help the masses,” she explained. Instead, her motivation stems from a desire for connection rather than merely seeking to educate.
Haines stressed the importance of reflection before sharing difficult experiences publicly, stating, “I don’t do it while I’m in the throes of it because I have no words to wrap around [it].” She prefers to wait until she has processed her feelings, ensuring she does not contribute raw emotions irresponsibly. “So when I’ve shaped it, I bring it to that table and the viewers show up for me,” she concluded.
“The View” airs weekdays at 11 a.m. ET on ABC, offering insights into a range of topics, including motherhood, relationships, and current events, all through the unique perspectives of its co-hosts.