**Widower Opens Up About Life After Loss on Grief Witnessed Podcast**
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In a heartfelt discussion on Shay Martin’s podcast, *Grief Witnessed*, Matt Okula, a 35-year-old firefighter from Los Angeles, shared his poignant journey of grieving the loss of his wife, Hailey, who tragically passed away just hours after giving birth to their son, Crew, on March 29, 2025. Hailey, an influential figure with a nursing resource page called @RNNewGrads, died at the age of 33 due to a rare complication known as an amniotic fluid embolism.
On the podcast, both Matt and Shay, who also faced the heart-wrenching loss of her husband to colon cancer last year, navigated their feelings surrounding grief, motherhood, and the daunting prospect of re-entering the dating world. With their shared experiences as widows and single parents, the conversation offered a unique insight into the emotional landscape that follows the death of a spouse.
Reflecting on his late wife’s legacy, Matt has continued to maintain Hailey’s presence on social media, where he connects with her more than 500,000 followers. He regularly shares memories and content that Hailey would have posted, crafting an online narrative that keeps her spirit alive for both himself and their young son. With Crew now just over a year old, Matt emphasises the importance of involving Hailey in their lives, stating, “Crew is always going to be Hailey’s son. Biologically, Hailey will always be Crew’s mum, and Crew needs to know who Hailey was.”
Matt, who met Hailey when he was just 21, acknowledged that his relationship with her shaped his approach to love and family. As he contemplates the possibility of dating again, he candidly admitted to Shay that he has not yet started that journey. While he desires a mother figure for Crew, the emotional weight of loving someone while still holding onto memories of Hailey makes the idea of dating complex.
“I haven’t dabbled in dating yet,” he revealed. “To love someone else, and them to know that you still love this other person, even though they’re dead, feels weird.” It prompted a broader discussion about the characteristics that a prospective partner would need to support both him and Crew, as well as the space required for Hailey’s memory.
Shay pointed out that Hailey would likely want him to pursue happiness, a sentiment Matt agreed with, noting that this belief slightly eases his internal conflict. He elaborated on the unique challenges of dating as a widower, mentioning his concerns regarding finding someone who can cope with the multifaceted roles of being a partner and a mother to Crew.
The topic of maturity and confidence came up as essential attributes in a potential partner. Matt admitted that had he not experienced profound loss himself, he might struggle to empathise with a woman who would also be navigating the complexities of love after loss. “I’m asking a lot of a woman to hold space for Hailey,” he said, reflecting on the emotional intricacies involved. “I want her to be part of my life and Crew’s life. I don’t want to forget her.”
As the conversation unfolded, it became evident that the journey of processing such grief is not linear and comes with its challenges. Matt’s openness about his difficulties illustrates the often overlooked emotional hurdles faced by bereaved partners. “I don’t know if that woman exists,” he pondered aloud, expressing how difficult it can be to find someone capable of sharing in his experiences while embracing Hailey’s memory.
The impact of social media in their lives also played a crucial role in this dialogue. Both Matt and Shay have utilised their platforms to share their narratives candidly, providing a means to connect with others going through similar experiences while honouring their late spouses. Their discussions highlight the increasing importance of community support, especially for those grappling with profound loss.
As they both navigate their paths of healing, Matt remains focused not only on honouring Hailey’s memory but on ensuring that Crew grows up knowing who his mother was. The conversation serves as both a personal account of grief and a reminder of the collective experience shared by many who have lost loved ones. By discussing their stories, both Matt and Shay inspire others to engage with their grief, reminding listeners that they are not alone, and that hope can coexist with the memories of those who have passed.