Hilary Duff has opened up about her experience of co-parenting her 13-year-old son, Luca, following her divorce from ex-husband Mike Comrie in 2016. In a candid discussion on the popular podcast “Call Her Daddy,” the 38-year-old actress and singer discussed the importance of prioritising her son’s emotional well-being during the difficult process.
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During the conversation with host Alex Cooper, Duff reflected on the moment she realised her marriage was coming to an end. “It just got to a point where it wasn’t going to be,” she explained, recounting the challenges she faced in making that tough decision. She noted the stigma surrounding divorce, particularly influenced by her own parents’ experiences, which added to her emotional burden.
In the early stages of their separation, Duff made a concerted effort to maintain a sense of normalcy for Luca. “Every time we would trade, it wouldn’t just be a drop-off, pick-up situation,” she expressed, highlighting how they would often enjoy outings together as a family in an attempt to foster comfort for their young son.
Despite the difficulties, Duff’s commitment to a peaceful co-parenting dynamic remained steadfast. She admitted the challenge of processing her emotions during a particularly stressful period. “It was a really scary time to just not want to f— up your kid,” she said, candidly addressing the fears that many parents face in similar situations.
When Duff finally filed for divorce, the news broke to the public almost immediately, forcing her to navigate her personal grief under the scrutiny of the media. This added layer of complexity made her journey that much more difficult. However, she aimed to set a positive example for Luca, demonstrating resilience and the importance of prioritising personal happiness despite the challenges of divorce.
Looking back, she noted the significance of timing in their separation. “I knew that it was going to be better to do it when he was like 5 and aware or 8 and aware,” she said, acutely aware of the impact divorce can have on children, particularly when they begin to internalise feelings of guilt about their family circumstances. Her goal was to create two distinct environments for Luca – ensuring he felt secure and happy in both.
In her thoughts for others facing similar situations, Duff emphasised the balance between self-care and parental responsibilities. “You’ve got to fight for yourself, and it doesn’t matter that you have kids. Your kids are going to be okay,” she advised, highlighting that parents sometimes lose themselves in their roles.
She acknowledged the overwhelming nature of parental guilt, sharing her experience of sometimes feeling torn between personal desires and her role as a mother. “There’s this part of your brain where you’re like, ‘Yeah, I’m still in here and I’m still me,’ and then there’s this huge shadow over it that’s like, ‘But everything for the family and everything for your kid,’” Duff articulated, expressing the internal struggle many parents encounter.
Duff’s reflections resonate strongly with the current societal discussions on the pressures of parenthood and the importance of personal well-being. She added a light-hearted moment to this serious topic by discussing the balancing act of motherhood and personal enjoyment, joking about choosing to enjoy a martini one night instead of staying home, showcasing her commitment to finding moments for herself amid a busy family life.
In sharing her journey of disentangling her identity from her role as a parent, Hilary Duff offers a nuanced perspective on the complexities of co-parenting and the importance of self-advocacy. By prioritising her own happiness, Duff aims to demonstrate to her children the value of pursuing joy in life, even in the face of difficult circumstances.