Three women, each with their own transformative experiences of divorce, have come together to advocate for a significant change in North Carolina’s divorce laws. Senator Woodson Bradley, grief support specialist Rebecca Feinglos, and influencer Jen Hamilton gathered recently at the RBF Champagne Bar in Cary to discuss their personal journeys and their aspirations for reform through Senate Bill 626, which they hope to name the Jen Dependence Act.
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Under North Carolina law, couples are required to live separately for a minimum of one year before they can file for absolute divorce. The proposed legislation aims to reduce this separation period to just six months, with additional provisions to eliminate the waiting period in cases where there are no minors involved or if the divorce is uncontested. Furthermore, it seeks to waive the separation requirement for survivors of domestic violence.
Senator Bradley, at 53, described her divorce as reminiscent of a “bad country song,” revealing that her former husband had hidden a significant criminal past, which profoundly impacted both her career and financial stability. The separation not only caused significant turmoil in her life but also led to her husband contesting the divorce, dragging the process on for years. “It destroyed me financially. It destroyed me socially,” she reflected, expressing her desire to advocate for others facing unfair circumstances. “I decided to dedicate my adult life to advocating for women and children and people who have done nothing wrong and just want to be free.”
Rebecca Feinglos, 37, shared her experience, noting how the loss of both her parents at a young age inspired her to reassess her own life and relationship. Following her father’s passing in 2020, Feinglos found the courage to leave her marriage. “I chose to end my marriage after the death of my father,” she told PEOPLE. “It was having two deceased parents by the age of 30 that gave me the courage to say, ‘I don’t need to tolerate things that are not serving me in my life.’”
In addition to her personal journey, Feinglos founded Grieve Leave, a company aimed at helping individuals navigate the complexities of loss, including the emotional challenges that accompany divorce. “Even though it was my choice to end it, that does not mean that I don’t have grief even right now in this moment,” she said, highlighting the distinct emotional toll that such decisions can bring.
The experiences of Jen Hamilton, a nursing influencer and New York Times bestselling author, are currently unfolding. After 15 years of marriage and two children with her husband, Hamilton announced their separation, citing that he was living a “double life.” The couple had previously separated seven years ago due to infidelity but reconciled for the sake of their children. Unfortunately, Hamilton discovered ongoing issues, including her husband’s activities on social media that compromised their relationship. “I could have very easily hidden the shame and taken it as my own. But it’s not my shame,” she remarked, emphasising her decision to be open about her divorce and the impact it has had on her life.
Together, these women have strengthened their commitment to changing the existing laws, viewing their collective stories as catalysts for potential reform. Senator Bradley pointed out that the current divorce legislation in North Carolina dates back to 1931, based on outdated notions regarding a woman’s capacity to make decisions during a turbulent time.
The proposed Senate Bill aims to alleviate some of the stress and stigma that surround the divorce process, particularly for individuals who are already facing immense personal difficulties. “With the privilege that I have in my life, I’m going to take all of the awful things that have happened, and I am going to channel them into creating change for other people,” Feinglos affirmed, indicating a commitment to turning personal hardships into advocacy for those who may struggle with similar challenges.
Hamilton echoed this sentiment, underscoring the importance of storytelling in effecting change. She believes that by sharing their lived experiences, they can foster empathy and understanding around divorce issues. “It takes people telling their real, true stories to make an impact,” she said, encouraging others to be brave in sharing their experiences to support this movement.
As they attempt to amend a long-standing law in North Carolina, the trio hopes their journey will resonate with others and inspire systemic change. By amplifying their voices through shared experiences, they aim to pave the way for a more empathetic approach to divorce, one that takes into account the nuances of individual circumstances and the emotional toll of separation.