Meredith Mickelson Talks Navigating Grief, Mental Health After Her Brother’s Death: ‘There’s No Rule Book’ (Exclusive)

**Meredith Mickelson Reflects on Loss and Healing After Brother’s Death**

In a candid conversation with PEOPLE, model Meredith Mickelson discussed the profound effect her brother Daniel’s death has had on her mental health and life outlook. Ahead of Mental Health Awareness Month, she opened up about her journey through grief following the tragic loss of her brother, who died from an accidental overdose in July 2021 at the age of 23.

Meredith and Daniel were inseparable siblings, having grown up in a small Georgian town before moving to Los Angeles together. Despite his decision to move into his own apartment, Daniel continued to share many of his evenings with Meredith. “He was my literal best friend,” she said, recalling how their bond was so strong that people often assumed they were twins, even though Daniel was two years her senior. “I’ve never met a closer sibling duo.”

However, beneath their close relationship, Daniel was grappling with addiction, especially during his college years at a “party school” in Alabama. Although he was taking steps towards recovery, including engaging in a 12-step programme, Meredith struggled to fully understand his challenges at the time. “I always would get mad at him like, ‘Why would you do this? You know it hurts you,’ but I knew he was openly struggling with it,” she confessed.

The day of Daniel’s death remains etched in Meredith’s memory as one of her darkest hours. “The first few days were insanely difficult,” she said. “I think I blacked out, to be honest. It was pretty horrible while we were all navigating it and trying to process it.” Grasping the magnitude of her grief, she soon decided to leave the apartment they had shared, believing its presence was too painful to bear.

In an effort to escape her overwhelming feelings, Meredith relocated to Paris for several months. “I ran away from the States, I ran away from everyone I knew,” she explained. “I just didn’t want to face anything.” While trying to carve out a new life, she admitted that her mental health plummeted, creating a façade of normalcy in her life that belied the emotional turmoil she felt inside. “When it happens, you feel so alone,” she noted.

After nearly nine months abroad, Meredith concluded that she needed to return to Los Angeles. “My brother would kill all of us if we did not live fully,” she said, reflecting on how she believed that not living life to the fullest was a profound injustice to his memory. This understanding began to reshape her perception of grief, which she described as cyclical, with moments of clarity alternating with times of overwhelming sorrow.

Channeling her grief into a revived passion for acting—an interest she shared with her late brother—proved pivotal for Meredith. She has since appeared in television shows such as “Euphoria” and “The Beauty,” finding purpose and solace in her newfound career. “In some weird way, I feel like his full passion went into me,” she stated. “That has helped me heal a lot because it’s challenging and something that I know he’s super proud of.”

While Meredith initially opted to navigate this difficult path alone, she has also learned the importance of leaning on friends and family during her hardest moments. Realising the necessity of sharing her experience, she aims to foster open dialogues around sensitive subjects such as addiction and loss. “Death isn’t talked about ever,” she shared. “It is a reality for everyone, and if no one wants to talk about it, you can’t have that support system.”

Meredith also addressed the stigma associated with drug use, stressing the need for awareness regarding its potential dangers. “Drugs aren’t cool, and people don’t take it as seriously as they should,” she commented, advocating for a responsible approach to enjoying life while prioritising safety.

As she continues her journey of healing, Daniel’s memory has become her guiding force. Although grief remains a constant presence, Meredith is learning to reshape her perspectives on life and happiness. “I used to think everything was so important, so the end of the world,” she reflected. “Now, the things that have meaning to me are way different. It’s the relationships I have, it’s the connections I make.”

In Meredith’s view, while she may never fully heal from her loss, the experience has inadvertently fostered a growth in her mental health. “I don’t know if I’ll ever heal fully, but I feel like my mental health weirdly has gotten better,” she concluded, demonstrating a resilience that serves as an inspiration to others facing similar challenges.