Emilia Clarke Says She Was Convinced She Was ‘Meant to Die’ After Second Brain Hemorrhage During “Game of Thrones”

Emilia Clarke, best known for her role as Daenerys Targaryen in the hit HBO series *Game of Thrones*, has opened up about her harrowing experiences with two brain hemorrhages that occurred during her time working on the show. Reflecting on these near-fatal incidents, Clarke revealed that they left her grappling with a profound sense of fear and questioning her purpose in life.

In a recent appearance on the *How To Fail with Elizabeth Day* podcast, the 39-year-old actress disclosed her belief that she had “cheated death” following her medical traumas. She candidly shared her thoughts, confessing, “I was just convinced that I had cheated death and I was meant to die. Every day, that’s all I could think about.”

Her first brain hemorrhage struck shortly after she completed filming the first season of *Game of Thrones*. Feeling overwhelmed by the rapid changes in her life and career, Clarke collapsed during a workout at a gym in London. Illustrating the severity of her condition, she likened the sensation to “an elastic band just snapping around [her] brain,” accompanied by intense pressure and pain. In that critical moment, she managed to crawl to a bathroom to vomit, swiftly recognising the gravity of her situation. “In that moment, I knew I was being brain damaged,” she recounted.

Despite her critical state, Clarke felt an intense desire to maintain her career. She anxiously awaited help whilst reminding herself, “I’m an actor,” wanting to persist in her newly acquired dream role. Initially, the medical team struggled to diagnose her condition, suspecting drug use might be a factor due to her age. It was only after a nurse suggested a brain scan that Clarke was transferred to a specialist hospital for further examination.

In the weeks following her first haemorrhage, Clarke’s primary focus was to convince network executives and the show’s creators that she could recover sufficiently to return to work. Feeling a sense of shame surrounding her condition, she feared being perceived as weak. The actress disclosed that she had confided in the showrunners about her health struggles, but largely kept the experience to herself. “I just didn’t want anyone to know,” she added.

Tragically, Clarke suffered a second aneurysm while living in New York and performing in a Broadway play, which doctors had been monitoring after identifying it during her treatment for the first incident. This subsequent surgery was fraught with complications, ultimately necessitating emergency procedures. Clarke vividly recalled her parents waiting anxiously as medical staff continually updated them with grim news, stating, “We think she’s going to die.”

Following her second brain hemorrhage, Clarke experienced an emotional shutdown unlike anything she had faced after the first. She described feeling hypersensitive and alienated from the outside world, as though her body and mind had betrayed her in ways that were invisible to others. “When you have a brain injury, you move around in the world differently,” she reflected. The fear of a potential recurrence of her condition, which was reignited by any headache, added to her overwhelming anxiety.

Despite these challenges, Clarke found solace in her work, perceiving it as essential for her emotional survival. She recounted an event at San Diego Comic-Con shortly after surgery, where she thought, “If I’m going to die, I’ll do it on live TV.” Clarke admitted to the podcast host that she had not allowed herself much compassion during her recovery, viewing her health crises as personal failures. “I did not take care of myself. I did not give myself any grace,” she stated, underscoring her internal struggles.

As time has passed, Clarke’s perspective on her experiences has transformed. In 2019, she co-founded the charity SameYou with her mother, focused on aiding brain injury survivors who endure feelings of loneliness. “One of the biggest things I felt with a brain injury was profoundly alone,” she shared in a previous interview, emphasising the need for community support for survivors.

Now, when reflecting on her relationship with *Game of Thrones*, Clarke admits that it continues to evolve. “It was lightning in a bottle,” she said, acknowledging its profound impact on her formative years. Despite the darkness she faced during her health struggles, Clarke’s resilience and determination highlight her strength, as she navigates both her professional and personal journeys.