Rosalyn Engelman, a New York grandmother and a beacon of marital wisdom, has shared her insights on what constitutes a successful relationship, based on her personal experience of over 70 years of marriage to her husband, Irwin Engelman. Speaking to CNBC’s Make It, Rosalyn highlighted both positive indicators of a healthy relationship as well as potential pitfalls that couples should be wary of.
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One of the most significant red flags in a relationship, according to Rosalyn, is the presence of destructive criticism. She elaborated on this point by stating that hurtful comments made without constructive intent can be detrimental to a partnership. “If someone criticises the way a meal looks or the effort put into preparing it, that can be incredibly damaging, especially if they know how many hours went into it,” she explained. Rosalyn’s view resonates with psychological insights, as expert Sabrina Romanoff supported the notion that insensitivity in communication can signal a lack of respect for one’s partner.
“When someone claims to be ‘just honest’ while being cruel, it indicates a deeper issue within the relationship,” Romanoff pointed out. Kindness, she noted, should be a guiding principle in partnerships, providing a supportive space amidst the harsh realities of the broader world.
Rosalyn and Irwin Engelman first crossed paths on a blind date in 1953. Their connection was immediate; Rosalyn recalls being captivated by Irwin’s “tall, dark, handsome” appearance, reminiscent of a classic movie star. It was not just love at first sight, but a mutual commitment to nurturing their relationship that set them apart from many others. The couple married three years later and went on to raise two children while pursuing their respective careers.
The Engelmans attribute their successful marriage to consistent expressions of love and affection. They have made it a habit to tell each other “I love you” and share a kiss when waking and before sleeping. Rosalyn believes that even small gestures of kindness can greatly enhance the bond between partners. “I think every gesture of kindness and love strengthens the relationship,” she remarked.
Understanding each other’s perspectives has also played a crucial role in their lasting union. Rosalyn reflected on how they managed challenges such as cancer, stating, “I never resented his hard work, and I don’t think he resented my dedication to my art.” This mutual respect for each other’s commitments and values has fortified their relationship through various trials.
Despite facing external challenges, Rosalyn insists that their bond has never been weakened by any internal conflict. “I feel incredibly fortunate because I can’t recall a time when our relationship wasn’t strong,” she shared. Her remarks highlight the importance of resilience, trust, and a shared vision for the future in sustaining a long-term marriage.
Recently, the couple celebrated their enduring love with a vow renewal in 2024, a testament to their commitment and dedication to each other. Now living in Apsley, an assisted living facility in Manhattan, they continue to thrive in their golden years. “We’re just so happy to have each other,” Rosalyn concluded.
Rosalyn Engelman’s insights serve as a valuable reminder of the foundations of successful relationships. Kindness, respect, and a genuine understanding of one another’s perspectives can make all the difference in creating a lasting partnership. Her story stands as a source of inspiration for couples navigating the complexities of love and commitment in today’s world.