Mom Who Chose to Raise Kids in French After Studying Abroad in Paris Explains Difficulty of ‘Bonding’ with Child in Second Language (Exclusive)

Michelle Bruni, a 32-year-old mother residing in Detroit, is on a remarkable journey of raising her children in French, despite it being her second language. Her goal of nurturing bilingualism in her household stems from a lifelong desire instilled in her during childhood. Growing up, she was inspired by her father’s bilingualism but missed the opportunity to learn the family dialect.

From an early age, Bruni was determined to become bilingual herself. Her linguistic journey began with Spanish at the age of seven, which was soon complemented by French during her high school years. Her education continued at Penn State, where she delved deeper into the two languages. A transformative year spent in Paris during her junior undergraduate period solidified her journey; it was there that she became fluent in French, albeit at the expense of her Spanish skills. “I remember feeling very defeated because I had spent so long learning Spanish and loved speaking it, but French took over,” Bruni reflected.

With the decision effectively made for her, Bruni welcomed her first child, Chloe, in 2021, and embraced the commitment to raise her bilingual. However, speaking to her baby in French from the onset presented unexpected challenges. “It’s not natural to bond with a baby in your second language,” she noted, explaining that forming a bond in her primary language, English, felt more instinctive initially. After a few months of reverting to English out of familiarity, she made a conscious decision to shift towards using French daily.

Now, some years into her parenting journey, French has become an integral part of their lives. Bruni shares that nearly everything her family does revolves around the language. Their mornings often kick off with French programming, followed by play and various activities, all conducted in French. However, Bruni is also candid about the imperfect reality of bilingual parenting. “When my husband comes home from work, our life then switches to ‘Franglish’,” she explained, where English and French intermingle within their household. This approach, while less than seamless, allows for a sense of cohesiveness in their family dynamic.

In 2022, Bruni started documenting her experiences on TikTok, initially without any expectations of significant attention. However, her insights on bilingual parenting resonated with many, leading to a substantial following of over 287,000. Establishing a connection with fellow bilingual parents has been a heartening aspect of her journey. “I’m actually blown away every time someone tells me they are also raising children in their second language,” Bruni said, highlighting her surprise at finding a community she did not initially think existed.

The most rewarding aspect of her online presence has been the shared experiences she encounters with other parents. Many have reached out to her, expressing how her journey reassures them in their own bilingual parenting efforts. “I often receive DMs from parents saying how happy they are to have found my account,” she remarked. “It gives them reassurance and confidence that they actually can raise bilingual children.”

Bruni also emphasises that everyday moments in her household bring the most joy. One incident involved her daughter stepping in to help her with a French word that Bruni struggled to pronounce, showcasing Chloe’s budding understanding of the language. “I thought, ok, whatever I’m doing is working!” she exclaimed, celebrating the little victories that affirm her efforts.

For Bruni, the ongoing process of raising bilingual children is about more than just language. She believes it enriches her children’s worldview. “Language isn’t just a tool; it’s also a lens to view the world,” she explained. By fostering an environment of bilingualism, she hopes to instil in her children the understanding that their perspective is just one of many.

As the family continues to navigate their bilingual journey, Bruni remains committed to making language an integral part of their lives. While the experience comes with its unique set of challenges, the rewards of seeing her children engage with the world from different linguistic perspectives make it all worthwhile.