David Sedaris, the renowned author and humorist, has recently shared insights about his marriage in an essay published in The New Yorker on April 13, 2023. Sedaris disclosed that he tied the knot with his long-time partner, Hugh Hamrick, in a discreet ceremony back in 2016, and the couple kept the news under wraps, even from close family and friends.
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The couple, who first crossed paths in 1990, had a private wedding in Beaufort, North Carolina. Sedaris described the event as a “shotgun wedding” suggested by their banker for financial purposes. The ceremony was brief and unceremonious—so much so that the couple only shook hands to mark the occasion, foregoing any public display of affection. “Neither of us choked up. The wedding took a matter of minutes,” Sedaris recounted, reflecting on their quick trip to a nearby sandwich shop with their banker following the ceremony.
Sedaris admitted that keeping his marriage a secret was not due to any embarrassment regarding Hamrick, but rather a personal aversion to the phrase “my husband.” He compared it to the oddity of saying “my unicycle” or “my rescue ferret,” finding a certain discomfort in the term. He said, “It’s not that I was embarrassed by Hugh or that I thought someone better might come along. I just shudder when I hear a man say the words ‘my husband.’”
The author also noted that he occasionally joked about the prospect of breaking up with Hamrick after their 35 years together, which many friends and family members find hard to believe. “I hoped it might work out between us and am delighted that it has,” he mentioned, clearly cherishing the long-standing relationship they have built.
Sedaris recounted a near-miss moment where he almost revealed the truth about his marriage while dining with his sisters, Amy and Gretchen, in Amsterdam. Just as he was gathering his thoughts to share the news, Hamrick stood up and gestured that they should be leaving, prompting Sedaris to follow suit. “Yet I got to my feet, and willingly. He’s so controlling, yet so very handsome, my husband,” he quipped, blending humour with genuine affection.
In his essay, Sedaris delves into the complexities of love and relationships, musings that resonate deeply with readers. He wrote, “It can exist within a marriage, flickering like a tea-light candle at the bottom of a hurricane glass, but it’s hardly guaranteed to endure.” The statement reflects his recognition of the unpredictable nature of long-term relationships and a keen awareness of the efforts required to maintain them.
Despite his occasional longing for the independence of single life, Sedaris appreciates the companionship that comes with his marriage. “Oh, to be single and accountable to no one,” he pondered, before softening his stance with an acknowledgment of the bliss that can arise from shared moments. “Then Hugh will do something sweet and I’ll remember that it can actually be nice to have someone around.”
Sedaris is widely known for his literary works, including popular titles such as Calypso, Me Talk Pretty One Day, and Naked. His candid and humorous writing style allows readers to connect with his experiences on a personal level. His upcoming essay collection, The Land and Its People, is set to be released on May 26, promising more insights drawn from his unique perspective on life and relationships.
In sharing this part of his life, Sedaris not only sheds light on his personal journey but also challenges societal norms surrounding marriage and relationships, particularly for members of the LGBTQ+ community. His reflections resonate with a broad audience, highlighting the balance between personal happiness and societal expectations.
As he continues to navigate the complexities of love, Sedaris remains an influential writer whose wit and wisdom engage readers from all walks of life. Through his narrative, he encourages a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of love and commitment in today’s world.