Jenna Bush Hager, a well-known television personality and mother of three, has shared invaluable insights on parenting in a recent episode of *Today with Jenna & Sheinelle*. During the discussion, she focused on instilling the importance of happiness, kindness, and genuine friendships in her children rather than striving for external accolades.
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At 44 years of age, Hager is raising her daughters, Mila, aged 12, and Poppy, aged 10, alongside her son, Hal, aged six, with her husband, Henry Hager. In her conversation with co-host Sheinelle Jones, Hager reflected on the significant pressures that children face today, noting that these challenges differ markedly from those of previous generations.

“It’s interesting because there seems to be an overwhelming pressure on teenagers today,” Hager remarked. She contrasted this with her own upbringing, where the benchmarks for success were considerably lower. Hager explained, “When I was younger, if you were average, that was completely fine. Today’s youth seem to be driven to gain entry into prestigious schools or excel as top athletes, which is a much heavier burden.”
Jones, connecting with Hager’s sentiment, added a light-hearted remark, jesting about how they both turned out fine despite these pressures, but Hager pressed on with her concern. “The focus appears to be on achievement and material success rather than on joy and the value of friendship,” she elaborated. Hager emphasised the responsibility that parents hold in redefining success for their children, suggesting that creating an environment that prioritises emotional well-being over external metrics is crucial.
As a seasoned mother, Hager shared specific guidance she offers to her daughter Mila about navigating the social complexities of growing up, particularly the challenge of dealing with unkind peers. She cited the influence of author Brené Brown, who advocates for surrounding oneself with positive individuals. “I often tell Mila to seek out the friends who uplift her, the ones who celebrate her successes rather than diminish them,” Hager explained.
Continuing this theme, Hager drew an analogy to the concept of “candle-blowers” that Brown discusses in her podcast. “Imagine you’re excitedly sharing that you have a book out, and someone responds with, ‘So what? I wrote one too,’” Hager illustrated, highlighting how toxic interactions can extinguish one’s enthusiasm. This sparked an agreement from Jones, who remarked, “You want friends who aren’t going to blow out your candle.”
The conversation between the two mothers touched on the importance of fostering an environment where children feel valued and supported. Hager passionately remarked, “It’s vital to teach kids that they should seek out friendships that encourage them to shine, rather than ones that diminish their light.”
In addition to her advocacy for positive friendships, Hager also underscored the critical role of kindness in shaping her children’s moral values. The societal shift towards favouring quantifiable achievements has often overlooked the significance of emotional intelligence, joy, and empathy. In discussing these themes, Hager aims to guide her children through the complexities of modern social dynamics, rooting their growth in emotional resilience.
Hager and Jones both acknowledge that parenting today requires a nuanced understanding of the cultural landscape, which is increasingly influenced by social media and external validation. By raising their children with an emphasis on inner happiness rather than societal expectations, they hope to nurture a generation that values kindness and authentic connections.
As she continues to share her parenting experiences on public platforms, Jenna Bush Hager remains committed to championing the principles of kindness, joy, and supportive friendships. By fostering an environment that encourages these values, she hopes to help her children navigate the challenges they face in today’s world with grace and confidence.
