In a recent episode of the *Dear Chelsea* podcast, actress Sarah Paulson opened up about her long-term relationship with fellow actress Holland Taylor, explaining why they have chosen not to marry after nearly 12 years together. This candid conversation highlights not only their unique perspective on commitment but also the importance of personal freedom within their relationship.
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Sarah Paulson, known for her roles in *American Horror Story* and other acclaimed productions, shared her views with host Chelsea Handler during the podcast recorded on November 12. At 51, Paulson elaborated on the couple’s decision to remain unmarried, emphasising that the traditional concept of marriage does not resonate with her. The actress even revealed that the very thought of marriage gives her “the heebie-jeebies.”
“I’m happy that I haven’t been married,” Paulson stated, indicating that her current standing has allowed her to maintain her individuality. She expressed that despite not being legally wed, she feels a deep sense of connection with Taylor, 83, akin to a marriage. “We talk about it all the time; I feel married to her,” she remarked, implying that their bond is strong without the necessity of formal documentation.

The couple’s shared value of freedom plays a significant role in their relationship dynamics. Paulson explained that the rigidity often associated with marriage is not something she desires. “The stoneness of it makes me want to… it gives me the heebie-jeebies. I want to feel this kind of freedom,” she stated. She clarified that her desire for independence is not about distancing herself from Taylor, but rather preserving her own identity within the relationship.
Furthermore, Paulson discussed the discomfort both she and Taylor feel towards the term “wife.” She expressed that they do not identify with the word; for them, it implies a sense of ownership that neither actress is keen on embracing. “We’re not married, first of all, but somehow, it’s like the thought of that is just not… I don’t like it… belonging to someone,” Paulson explained.
As the couple approaches their 12-year anniversary in January, their journey together has seen many milestones. The two first crossed paths in 2005 but did not begin dating until a decade later in 2015. Reflecting on their relationship, Paulson shared, “I feel as connected to another person as I possibly could to Holland.” Their bond, strengthened over the years, illustrates that deep connections can flourish outside the norms typically associated with romantic partnerships.
Interestingly, Paulson previously revealed another critical element to their enduring relationship during her appearance on the *Smartless* podcast in May 2024. She noted that one of the secrets to their long-lasting romance is their living arrangements; they do not cohabitate. Paulson remarked, “We spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house. We’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t.” This arrangement seems to allow them both to enjoy the best of both worlds: companionship and personal space.
Through this exploration of their relationship, Paulson and Taylor carve out their own definition of love, one that prioritises emotional connectivity and mutual respect over conventional expectations. This candid dialogue sheds light on the evolving nature of relationships in contemporary society, where traditional structures are increasingly questioned.
As society continues to embrace diverse forms of partnership, the perspectives shared by Paulson and Taylor serve as a reminder that love can exist outside societal norms. Their story invites others to reconsider the parameters of commitment, emphasising that personal satisfaction and emotional bonds can often supersede traditional definitions of marriage.
