In a heartfelt revelation, American rapper and producer Lil Jon, known for his exuberant personality and chart-topping hits, reflects on the profound impact of fatherhood in his life. In an interview with PEOPLE magazine ahead of the release of his memoir, *I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me*, Jon discusses his relationship with his late son, Nathan Smith, and the lessons he has learned about family and love.
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The memoir is set to be released on 20 October, 2023, and follows a significant personal tragedy: the unexpected death of Nathan, who passed away in February at the age of 27. Lil Jon, born Jonathan Smith, shares that he and Nathan had cultivated a positive relationship prior to this heartbreaking event. Their bond was characterised by shared passions, especially music, which saw Nathan following in his father’s footsteps as DJ Young Slade.
During his music career, Jon had the unique opportunity to collaborate with his son, an experience he treasures. “A lot of fathers don’t get to do that type of stuff with their sons,” he remarked, expressing gratitude for the moments they spent working together in studios and performing live shows. He describes Nathan as a “good-luck charm,” particularly during the creation of the 2014 hit “Turn Down for What,” where they collaborated closely. Nathan contributed even further by serving as an engineer on some of Jon’s recordings, including those for his upcoming album *Total Meditation*.
However, their relationship was not without its struggles. Leading up to Nathan’s death, he faced considerable physical and mental health challenges. Reflecting on their final conversation, Jon recalls experiencing tension and a sincere desire to reconnect. After a therapeutic session, he reached out to Nathan, ultimately offering an apology and expressing his understanding of Nathan’s feelings. This last interaction provided a measure of comfort for Jon, who cherishes the fact that they had reconciled before their last goodbye.
Tragically, Nathan was reported missing shortly thereafter, and his body was discovered a few days later in a pond near his Milton, Georgia home. An investigation concluded that his death was an accident, attributed to drowning while under the influence of psilocybin. The loss shattered Jon, who admitted to feeling guilt about returning to work on tour only three months after Nathan’s passing. “I felt guilty for smiling and trying to be the life of the party, which is my job,” he confided, adding that he experienced waves of grief during this time.
In a recent therapy session, Jon described undergoing a major emotional breakdown, realising that he hadn’t fully allowed himself the space to grieve. Yet, he finds solace in the knowledge that Nathan felt understood in their last conversation. Jon spoke with Nathan’s best friend posthumously and took comfort in knowing that their final exchange was positive and affirming.
As he navigates his path through grief, Lil Jon remains committed to his family, especially his daughter Nahara, who is just 22 months old. With his partner, Jamila Sozahdah, he focuses on instilling in her a sense of love and connection. Jon advises others to cherish their loved ones, emphasising that life’s unpredictability necessitates a proactive approach to relationships: “The No. 1 lesson I tell people now is, don’t feel like you can put something off for tomorrow, because you don’t know how much time you have with people.”
For Lil Jon, fatherhood has become a source of strength. He acknowledges that his daughter’s smile helps him navigate his grief, allowing love to shine amidst the sorrow. “Love helps you get through it,” he reflects, underscoring the importance of family bonds during challenging times.
As Lil Jon prepares to share his story in *I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me*, he hopes to convey the significance of family and the emotional journey he has endured since losing Nathan. His memoir serves not only as a tribute to his late son but also as a testament to the lessons learned through profound love and loss. For those interested in Lil Jon’s heartfelt reflections and experiences, the latest issue of PEOPLE magazine will be available on newsstands from Friday.