Restaurant Reviewer Reveals the 5 Restaurants She’d’ Never’ Eat in

**British Food Critic Reveals Her Restaurant Avoidance List on Instagram**

Grace Dent, a prominent British food critic and judge on MasterChef U.K., has captured the attention of social media users with a witty Instagram post detailing five types of restaurants she avoids. The post, shared on July 9, has struck a chord with many online, prompting a mix of laughter and agreement from her followers.

In her candid reflections, Dent began with a pointed critique of establishments that transform into nightclubs after 10 p.m. She quipped, “One minute you’re eating dinner, next, lights are off and someone in a spandex leotard is dangling their bits in your tiramisu to ‘Professional Widow’ by Tori Amos. Avoid.” This humorous phrasing encapsulates her disdain for dining experiences that blur the line between a relaxed dinner and a raucous night out.

Dent further elaborated on her dining preferences by stating her aversion to “hyper cool, hip cafes” that are largely unwelcoming to locals. According to her, these establishments tend to be staffed by young employees, often as young as 18, who open the café without adequate preparation. “The coffee machine is switched off,” she explained, recalling her visits that often yield subpar experiences. “He didn’t put the millionaire shortbread away last night. There’s mouse teeth marks in it.”

Continuing her tongue-in-cheek list, the critic expressed her disdain for restaurants that present “18-course minimum tasting menus.” Dent dryly remarked that such lengthy dining experiences can feel like endurance tests, with her stating, “Anything over 11 courses is technically kidnap.” She added, “Do I want to add a cheese course? No, sir, I want to be horizontal,” emphasising her preference for more straightforward dining options.

Further critiquing her least favourite types of restaurants, Dent compared some eateries to precarious locations that require guests to navigate a “causeway, tides and a terrifying race against the sea to get back to the mainland.” This tongue-in-cheek remark highlights her hesitance towards dining adventures that may seem too risky or impractical.

Dent also raised her concerns about “gigantic mystery money washers,” a term she coined to describe establishments that have little to no online presence yet offer pricey dishes. She described such places as often shrouded in secrecy, suggesting that all their administrative accounts may have been lost in a “tragic blaze.” This clever phrasing certainly resonates with many diners wary of hidden restaurants that might not live up to their price tags.

In a light-hearted sign-off, Dent concluded her post with the quip, “Grace Dent knows too much about restaurants” and poked fun at her own character by claiming she “likes annoying men” with her unusual taste in music, stating that her favourite Beatles song is Paul McCartney’s “The Frog Chorus.”

Delving deeper into her personality, she humorously proclaimed that her Olympic sport would involve finishing an entire Colin the Caterpillar cake in under an hour and 39 minutes, a reference to a well-loved British dessert. This playful takeaway further endeared her to her followers who relate to her humour.

Response from her audience was overwhelmingly positive, with fans expressing their amusement and relaying their own restaurant pet peeves, from establishments that claim to serve traditional dishes yet rely on artificial flavours, to those that incorporate “foam” as a fancy tasting menu component.

Grace Dent is well-known for her sharp wit and culinary critiques, often sharing her recommendations and personal dining experiences on social media. In previous posts, she has highlighted five “impossibly gorgeous” restaurants worth visiting, as well as locations ideal for romantic outings and her “sinister” reasons for not sharing desserts.

With her recent revelations, Dent not only entertained her followers but also sparked discussions about dining preferences and the often perplexing landscape of modern eateries. Her humorous insights provide a refreshing take on the restaurant industry, encouraging diners to be discerning about their culinary choices.