Colton Underwood Says He ‘Hooked Up’ with Married Men Before Being Labeled the ‘Virgin Bachelor’

Colton Underwood, a well-known figure from the reality television series The Bachelor, has shared insights into his complex journey of understanding his sexuality prior to his public coming out in 2021. During a recent episode of the podcast We Need to Talk, the 34-year-old recounted the lengths he went to in order to keep his sexual orientation hidden from the public eye, revealing a deeply personal struggle that many might relate to.

Underwood, who initially gained fame as a contestant on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette, later became the lead of the franchise in 2019. He has candidly discussed his past reluctance to be open about his sexuality, stating that he often felt anxious about being outed. “I was very careful, even when I was physically experimenting with guys,” he explained. Underwood expressed that during this exploratory phase of his life, he was extremely cautious about his actions, fearing not only public exposure but also the potential fallout for his career.

A notable aspect of his concealment involved his choice of partners. “To protect myself, I would only hook up with married men,” Underwood revealed. He indicated that he sought out “straight” men primarily because he believed they had more to lose than he did if their interactions were to become public knowledge. This strategy, while questionable, was one he felt was necessary for his own protection during a time when society was less accepting of different sexual orientations.

Reflecting on his experiences, Underwood remarked on the emotional toll of being labelled the “Virgin Bachelor,” a title bestowed upon him throughout his time in the franchise. He recalled feelings of frustration and anxiety, particularly when faced with questions about his virginity. He expressed a desire to have been more open about his struggles, suggesting that such honesty could have led to a richer dialogue about sexuality within the context of the show. “I wish I would have been a little bit more vulnerable about just talking about my struggle with my sexuality,” he said.

Underwood’s upbringing, steeped in religious beliefs, played a crucial role in shaping his understanding of sex and relationships. He admitted to grappling with the idea that certain experiences, like losing his virginity to a woman or marrying, could somehow alter his identity. “I convinced myself that the next step would make me straight,” he admitted. This internal conflict manifested as he took on the role of The Bachelor, which he viewed as an effort to ‘force’ himself into a straight identity. “I’m going to be so publicly straight that I will never be able to be gay again,” he thought at the time.

It was not until 2021 that Underwood publicly came out as gay, after years of internal struggle and self-denial. He is now married to political strategist Jordan C. Brown-Underwood, a relationship that signifies a new chapter in his life. His journey serves as a reminder of the difficulties many face when reconciling personal identity with societal expectations.

In previous discussions, including an interview with Variety, Underwood had touched on his experiences with men before joining The Bachelorette. He made it clear that while he had “experimented” with men, these were not full sexual encounters. The fear of someone potentially exposing his past was a constant worry that plagued him during his time in the spotlight.

His revelations resonate beyond just his personal experience; they highlight broader issues around acceptance, vulnerability, and the struggle for authenticity in a still-evolving society. Colton Underwood’s story sheds light on the complexities of navigating one’s sexual identity, particularly in a world that often imposes rigid expectations and labels.

By sharing his experiences on platforms such as the We Need to Talk podcast, Underwood hopes to foster understanding and support for others who may be facing similar challenges. Through his openness about these matters, he contributes to a growing dialogue surrounding sexuality and the importance of embracing one’s true self.