In a poignant reflection on her childbirth experiences, Carlie Roman, a 33-year-old mother from Kentucky, has shared why she opted for midwives to assist her through her three pregnancies, despite her husband, William, being an OB-GYN. Roman’s choice was largely shaped by the unique dynamics of her family and her desire for a specific care model during her pregnancies.
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Throughout her childbirth journey, Roman found midwifery care to be an ideal fit. She explains that ethical considerations prevented her husband from taking on the role of her physician, which led her to the midwife model from the outset. This decision proved beneficial as it allowed her to receive the emotional support she craved while having her husband by her side, providing a calm reassurance during what is typically a very vulnerable time.
Roman described her experiences as “safe, collaborative, and deeply meaningful.” Emphasising the importance of having caregivers who offer comfort during birth, she stated: “The whole experience of birth is vulnerable and life-changing. If you can set yourself up to do it alongside people you feel comfortable with, that is such a gift.”
The support from midwives was not only practical but also emotional for Roman. She valued the patient-centred approach that midwifery care provided, especially since her pregnancies were healthy and posed no significant risks. While her husband’s presence helped maintain a serene atmosphere, he would shift into his professional role as the moment for delivery approached. Roman reflected on these moments, recalling how special it felt to have William there to welcome their child into the world: “Seeing him ready to catch our baby in his loving hands was incredibly special.”
Although Roman’s personal experiences with midwifery have been overwhelmingly positive, she expressed deep respect for her husband’s role as a physician. As a minimally invasive gynecologic surgeon focusing on restorative reproductive medicine, William is dedicated to treating a range of women’s health issues, from chronic pelvic pain to infertility. Nonetheless, she believes that midwives are often misunderstood and have skills that can complement those of physicians when necessary.
“One moment during my third delivery highlighted why I value having both midwives and obstetricians working together,” Roman recounted. During labour, it was discovered that her daughter was in a posterior position, complicating the delivery process. With the midwives providing reassurance, William stepped in to perform a maneuver he was trained in, which enabled a smoother and safer delivery. “As soon as he did that with our daughter, I was able to quickly push her out, and he caught her,” she shared, highlighting the collaborative effort that made for an uplifting experience.
Roman also appreciated how midwives facilitated her autonomy in decision-making during labour. She noted that they created an environment where she felt seen, heard, and supported without imposing rigid guidelines. This nurturing approach allowed her to make informed choices that aligned with her values and preferences as a birthing individual, ensuring a level of comfort and peace during delivery.
The emotional support Roman received from her midwives was a striking contrast to what she perceived as the more time-pressured environment often found with medical doctors. “The energy in the room was warm, loving, and empowering in a way that MDs don’t always have time to provide,” she stated. This emotional connection was essential, ensuring her preferences were taken into account during both pregnancy and childbirth.
For women who may feel disconnected from their current healthcare provider, Roman encourages them to trust their instincts. She insists that feelings of disconnection early on in prenatal care are likely to persist during the delivery process, highlighting the importance of having a provider that resonates with one’s values and comfort levels.
As a testament to her experiences, Roman is passionate about promoting midwifery care as a viable and commendable option for expectant mothers. She expresses gratitude for the incredible women who supported her through her pregnancies, embracing midwifery as an essential alternative to traditional obstetric care.
Ultimately, her heartfelt narrative underlines the need for personalised and compassionate care in maternity settings – an approach that can empower women and foster a more positive birthing experience.