Jean Smart, the acclaimed actress known for her role in the hit series *Hacks*, has recently opened up about her journey into the dating world following the passing of her husband, Richard Gilliland, in 2021. During a candid discussion on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, *Wiser Than Me*, Smart reflected on the challenges of finding love again after a long and happy marriage.
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Gilliland, who was 71 at the time of his death, had been married to Smart for nearly 34 years, and together they raised two children. The sudden loss of her partner profoundly affected Smart, who described the experience as “surreal.” She noted that the grieving process is particularly unique when losing a spouse, contrasting it with the loss of a sibling, stating, “Losing your mate of 35 years — I mean, literally half my life I lived with him — is just kind of indescribable.”
As Smart re-entered the dating scene, she found it to be a daunting experience. Her first date in over 30 years felt particularly overwhelming. “It was just so depressing,” Smart recounted, describing the evening as “insanely demoralizing.” Upon reflecting on her date at a restaurant, she recalled feeling distant from herself and critical of her behaviour, thinking, “Oh God, you didn’t just say that. Oh, could you be more boring? Could you be less interesting?”
Despite her worries, the date ended with a kind gesture from her companion, who gave her a friendly side squeeze. In that moment, she revealed her vulnerability by informing him that it was her first outing since Gilliland’s passing. “I have never felt older or more unattractive than I did in that moment,” she confessed. Following the date, Smart initially believed she would never see him again.
To her surprise, the two continued to communicate, defying her expectations. Smart admitted that she was astonished he wasn’t frightened away by her initial jitters. Her new partner, whom she affectionately described as an “extremely lovely man,” is 67 years old, a few years her junior. She acknowledged feeling a bit self-conscious about their age difference, admitting it makes her “paranoid.”
In the years since Gilliland’s unexpected death, Smart has processed her grief while simultaneously navigating her burgeoning relationship. She described how she had initially suspected her husband might be suffering from COVID-19, but after seeking medical assistance, his condition deteriorated rapidly. She later expressed her frustration regarding the healthcare response he received, questioning why standard tests were not performed during his visits to medical facilities.
Reflecting on her experience, Smart emphasised the importance of reaching out when struggling. “You go through this period of thinking it’s just not real. This just doesn’t make any sense,” she noted. Her vulnerability resonates with many who have experienced similar losses, illustrating the profound impact grief can have on everyday life.
At present, Smart is gearing up for the final season of *Hacks*, where she reprises her role as comedian Deborah Vance. As she wraps up her character’s storyline, new episodes are set to air on Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO Max.
Smart’s openness about her journey offers a touchstone for others grappling with loss. Her story serves as a reminder that healing is a gradual process and that love can bloom again under unexpected circumstances. As she balances her public and personal life, Smart continues to inspire those who look to find solace in shared experiences of love and loss.