In an innovative tribute to his late parents, David Bailey has transformed their ashes into ceramic “parting stones,” a decision that has allowed him to honour their memories in a profoundly meaningful way. The 73-year-old has embarked on a journey across various significant locations, scattering the stones at places that hold deep personal resonance, including a World War II memorial and the very dock where his parents first met.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/David-Bailey-stone-grandfather-grave-043026-8e6af514120b4bcb91062e8166ff59b5.jpg)
Bailey’s father, Clifford, passed away in 2015 aged 89, while his mother, Jessie, followed in 2021 at the age of 90. Faced with the question of what to do with their ashes, Bailey was initially uncertain. However, inspiration struck after learning about the concept of ceramic parting stones through a friend in the funeral industry. In 2022, he decided to proceed with the creation of these unique memorials, combining their ashes to produce approximately 40 stones at a cost of about £2,000 each.
Bailey shared several of the stones with his three siblings and other relatives in the United States and Canada, opting to retain some for personal reflection on his desk. This act of keeping the stones close has provided him with a tangible connection to his parents, allowing him to recount their stories during his travels.
Recalling his father’s life, Bailey expressed a yearning to uncover more about Clifford’s past, particularly after a realisation that many aspects of his father’s life remained a mystery. This motivated him to visit Clifford’s only surviving sister, Gail, and to explore places from his father’s childhood in a quaint fishing village in Montreal. Bailey placed stones at meaningful spots, such as the apartment where his father once lived, as well as at a bronze memorial statue dedicated to World War II veterans, acknowledging Clifford’s proud service during the conflict.
Bailey reflected on the significance of this memorial visit, stating, “My dad was so proud to have served. So I found a little crevice behind the wings of that angel and dropped a parting stone in there.” Furthermore, he commemorated the moment his parents first met by casting a stone into the ocean at the naval docks in Halifax, Canada.
Despite the loving memories, Bailey highlighted the difficulty his family had in discussing death. He recalled being the last person to see his grandmother, Mary, alive. The memory remained poignant, as he described tucking her into bed during his parents’ absence, only to awaken the next morning to hear an ambulance after her passing. Bailey lamented, “No one knew what happened to her” following her funeral, which only added to his reflections on familial bonds and loss.
Since returning from Canada, Bailey has also ventured to Belgium, where he laid a stone at a cemetery honouring those who fought alongside his grandfather in World War I. Looking ahead, he plans to visit Scotland next to place stones at sites connected to his mother’s ancestry, extending his parents’ narrative across far-reaching landscapes.
Describing the experience, Bailey remarked, “You are holding them close and letting go at the same time.” He noted how more traditional memorial services often involve a burial, allowing guests to share stories, but found that the parting stones offered a unique opportunity to relive those tales during his travels.
The tactile nature of the stones has also provided Bailey with a grounding presence. He noted, “There is something about holding a stone. It is grounding, tactile. You can’t take a pile of ashes and put your hand in and go ‘Hey Mum.’ That would be so strange. But you can take a stone like this and tuck it into your pocket and take it with you.”
Bailey’s emotional journey through grief and remembrance reveals the profound ways individuals find solace, turning personal loss into touching commemorations of love and history. His artistic approach to memorialising his parents not only keeps their spirits alive but also generates new opportunities to connect with his heritage while sharing their stories with future generations.