Valerie Bertinelli Admits She’s ‘Scared of Dating’: ‘Be Careful of Who You Share Your Vulnerability With’

Valerie Bertinelli Opens Up About Dating and Vulnerability at LA Times Festival of Books

On 18 April 2026, actress Valerie Bertinelli attended the LA Times Festival of Books, where she candidly discussed her journey with vulnerability and her current dating life. The 65-year-old star, who gained fame in the late 1970s and 80s, recently published a book titled *Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect*, through which she examines her personal struggles and growth.

During her conversation with journalist Jenn Harris, Bertinelli reflected on her past relationships, including her two notable marriages. She was wed to Eddie Van Halen, the legendary frontman of the rock band Van Halen, from 1981 until their divorce in 2007. Following that, Bertinelli married financial planner Tom Vitale in 2011, but the couple separated in 2022. In light of her experiences, she acknowledged the fears that have made her hesitant to dive back into the dating scene.

Bertinelli articulated that vulnerability can be a transformative force in relationships, referring to it as a “superpower” that fosters deeper connections. However, she expressed her apprehension towards dating. “I have yet to put some things into action in personal relationships,” she explained. “I’m really scared of dating right now.” The actress indicated that her past experiences—particularly two divorces—have contributed to her current cautious outlook on love.

In her discussion, Bertinelli emphasised that while vulnerability can strengthen bonds between people, it must be managed wisely. “You have to be careful with your superpower,” she advised, stressing the importance of discerning who to share that vulnerability with. Writing her new book has been a therapeutic outlet for her, allowing her to explore her sensitivities and gradually become more at ease with them.

Furthermore, the actress shared her efforts to liberate herself from the opinions of others. “A lot of that has to do with — you can’t make me believe anything about myself that I don’t already believe,” she noted. This revelation has empowered her to reclaim her self-worth, pushing away earlier notions of being unlovable. She affirmed, “I’m not a bad person; I’m not unlovable. I’m the opposite of those things.” This shift in mindset has been pivotal in her personal journey.

Bertinelli has also found solace in single life. In a recent cover story for PEOPLE, she stated that she is “very happy being single” and while she is open to love, she is not actively seeking it. “There are so many great men out there,” she remarked, but reiterated her desire for a relationship that does not incite chaos or anxiety. “I want calm. I don’t want butterflies,” she added, referring to the euphoric feelings often associated with new romance.

The actress highlighted her ongoing quest to differentiate feelings of excitement from anxiety. “My therapist says, ‘You just had a bad experience with butterflies last time out, so why don’t you just wait and see what happens?'” Bertinelli suggested that she is taking a more reflective and thoughtful approach to her future relationships, prioritising mental clarity and emotional safety.

Bertinelli’s last notable relationship was with writer Mike Goodnough, which ended after 10 months in 2024. Reflecting on this past romance, she shared, “I was given the opportunity to learn a really deep, life-changing lesson, and that is what I’m grateful for.” Though she acknowledged the challenges, she is determined to use those lessons to navigate any future connections with greater wisdom.

Overall, Valerie Bertinelli’s appearance at the LA Times Festival of Books reveals an actress who is both introspective and thoughtful about her experiences. Her reflections on vulnerability, personal growth, and dating underscore her journey towards self-acceptance and readiness for future relationships, presenting her fans with a candid perspective on both love and life.