In a candid recent interview with PEOPLE, comedian and actress Michelle Buteau opened up about her enduring marriage to Dutch photographer Gijs van der Most, providing insights into how they maintain their bond amidst the pressures of a busy lifestyle. Buteau, who is now 48 years old, spoke fondly of their partnership, which began in 2008 and culminated in marriage two years later.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/michelle-buteau-gijs-van-der-most-040126-0d0ea781589d43faa9f25f18c7cd9130.jpg)
Buteau emphasised the importance of communication in their relationship, especially given the nuances that arise from language barriers. “Communication is everything,” she explained, mentioning that English is van der Most’s third language. “I over-communicate, which is really good, especially being married to somebody whose English is their third language and they’re a man. So, there’s no guessing.” This proactive approach appears to have been an effective strategy in preventing misunderstandings.
The star of *Survival of the Thickest* acknowledges that juggling her work commitments demands careful consideration, particularly when she’s occupied with filming schedules. “I set up in the day, and knowing all the scenes that I’m in, I think, ‘I will probably be very quiet Wednesday to Friday.’ So it’s not personal,” she shared. Buteau highlights the significance of preparing both herself and her partner for busy periods to ensure their relationship does not suffer due to her professional obligations.
Reflecting on their early days together, Buteau recalled the hustle and grind that characterised her career in comedy, which often saw her travelling across the United States for performances. “I was running around this country doing comedy for like £400 here and there, performing at colleges in 49 states in America. The only one I did not hit was Alaska,” she revealed. Throughout this journey, van der Most supported Buteau wholeheartedly, celebrating her milestones as his own and fostering a shared sense of achievement.
Buteau went on to commend her husband for his belief in her potential before she could truly see it herself. “He’s like, ‘Oh man, you’re a star.’ He believed in me before I could even see what [my career] could really be,” she shared. This sense of mutual admiration is a cornerstone of their partnership, she noted, crucial for promoting a nurturing and inspiring environment in which both can thrive.
The couple welcomed twins, Hazel and Otis, via surrogate in September 2019. Buteau expressed immense joy in watching her children grow, commenting on the bond they share. “The milestone really is just watching them come into their own,” she reflected. Observing her children together fills her with happiness, particularly noting how they embrace one another after school. “They just hug and love on each other. It’s just so nice to see that they like each other. They love each other and they’ll be taking care of each other for the rest of their lives,” she said.
In addition to her family commitments, Buteau is also looking forward to the upcoming third season of *Survival of the Thickest*. Co-created and starred in by Buteau, the series has garnered attention for its relatable storytelling and humour. She described the atmosphere on set while filming the final season as bittersweet, likening it to “the first and last day of summer camp.” There was a palpable sense among the cast that they did not want this chapter to come to an end, making each day feel both significant and fleeting.
Michelle Buteau’s reflection on her marriage and family life illustrates the core values that sustain her – open communication, mutual support, and a joyful connection with her children. As she continues to navigate her career alongside her personal responsibilities, it is evident that her relationship with van der Most serves as a solid foundation, enabling her to pursue her ambitions with confidence.