Singer-songwriter Noah Kahan has opened up about his struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and the lengthy process of seeking help in a recent episode of Jay Shetty’s podcast, “On Purpose.” Kahan, known for his relatable lyrics and heartfelt music, shared his fears surrounding treatment and the concerns that kept him from addressing his mental health earlier in his life.
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During the recording, Kahan candidly expressed, “I was holding off on getting the help that I really needed for a long time because I was so afraid it would dull my creativity.” At 29, he reflected on the challenges he faced, stating that these issues not only impacted his music but also hindered his daily functioning: “These problems were really hard for me and were disrupting my ability to wake up in the morning and just be a human being.”
The singer revealed that he had long associated healing with a potential loss of his creative spark. This fear began during his high school years when he started taking medication for anxiety. After receiving his OCD diagnosis, he felt a compelling need to confront these fears. “I used to believe that healing reduces creativity,” he noted, illustrating the internal conflict that many creators experience regarding their mental health and artistic expression.
Kahan elaborated on his hesitation to seek help, explaining that he worried it would compromise the authenticity of his artistry. He remarked, “I was worried that I’d be happy and wouldn’t care about making something, and that the feelings wouldn’t feel real enough for my audience.” Such apprehensions, he suggested, often prevent artists from taking necessary steps towards mental wellbeing.
Despite these fears, Kahan eventually realised he could no longer live in such a state of discomfort. After seeking treatment, he found a renewed sense of balance. “I still had feelings and deep thoughts, but I wasn’t getting side-barred by rabbit holes of obsession and anxiety anymore. It was a turning point for me in making this record,” he shared, referring to his forthcoming album, “The Great Divide.”
The notion of losing control was daunting for Kahan, who recognised it as a barrier to his creativity. However, he discovered that relinquishing a sense of control allowed his artistic expression to flourish once more. “But when I let go is when I found [my creativity] again,” he remarked, highlighting a transformative moment in his journey.
Following his diagnosis, Kahan embarked on a trip to Joshua Tree to reflect on his life and to create new music. Despite being surrounded by stunning landscapes, he found himself grappling with feelings of isolation and misery. “I’m in this beautiful Airbnb, I’m in the desert. I’m like, ‘This isn’t making me feel connected,’” he recalled. Although the experience was fraught with difficulty, Kahan ultimately deemed it “incredibly enlightening.”
In an October 2023 interview with TIME, Kahan further discussed his tumultuous journey through mental health in his twenties. He described his attempts at medication which often led to challenging side effects, resulting in a cycle of quitting and relapsing into depressive episodes. His artistic output suffered greatly during this time, as he emotionally distanced himself from his work. “I slowed down creatively and emotionally drifted away from my work,” he noted, revealing the toll that untreated mental health issues can take on a creative person.
Kahan’s personal journey is at the heart of his upcoming documentary, “Out of Body,” which chronicles a year and a half of his life amidst the success of his hit song “Stick Season.” The film addresses various themes, including fame, mental health struggles, and self-image. It is set to debut on Netflix on April 13, drawing attention to the artist’s candid reflection on his life experiences.
Kahan’s honesty regarding his mental health challenges serves as an important reminder of the complexities that many creatives face. His story encourages dialogue around mental health and the necessity of seeking help, highlighting that healing does not equate to a loss of creativity, but can instead lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s art.