Candice Bergen Reflects on Caregiving for Her 2 Late Husbands and Shares What She Did to Keep Feeling ‘Normal’

In a recent interview with AARP’s “Movies for Grownups,” acclaimed actress Candice Bergen offered heartfelt insights on her experiences as a caregiver and the importance of prioritising self-care. The 79-year-old star, well-known for her role in “Murphy Brown,” reflected on the challenges she faced while looking after her two late husbands, both of whom passed away after long health battles.

Bergen first married French film director Louis Malle, who died in 1995 at the age of 63 due to complications from lymphoma. Her second marriage was to Marshall Rose, who succumbed to complications from Parkinson’s disease earlier this year at the age of 88. Each experience introduced its own difficulties, giving Bergen a unique perspective on the challenges faced by caregivers.

In her discussion, Bergen highlighted a common pitfall for those in caregiving roles: neglecting one’s own well-being. She stressed the necessity of taking brief moments for self-care, advising caregivers to “take tiny breaks for yourself from time to time.” These moments might include short lunches with friends, particularly those with whom one may have lost touch. “Do things for yourself to keep yourself normal,” she encouraged, underscoring the importance of maintaining a sense of self amid caregiving responsibilities.

Bergen’s focus has since shifted towards her own health, especially in light of a stroke and a serious bike accident that she suffered in recent years. Since these incidents, she has dealt with a few lingering health issues, which she described as “manageable.” In recounting her bike accident, Bergen shared, “I fractured my pelvis, which was a new kind of pain. I actually saw stars. You can’t move for a long time; it’s too painful.” Following this trauma, she received excellent care at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York, a facility known for addressing orthopaedic injuries.

Following her accident, Bergen made the significant decision to avoid cycling altogether. Recalling a moment in Sun Valley when she saw bicycles available for rental, she reflected, “I thought, Can I do this? No, I can’t.” Despite a brief attempt to ride, she quickly realised that it was too daunting, stating emphatically, “I said, ‘I can’t do it.’”

To maintain her health and stay active, Bergen engages in regular workouts under the guidance of a personal trainer, whom she has known for several years. She remarked that their sessions occur five days a week in the gym of her building. The trainer previously worked with her husband during his illness, which has established a strong rapport between them. “It’s very little cardio; I barely break a sweat,” she noted jokingly. “I said today, ‘You’re just trying to keep me alive, right?’”

Her training sessions are not so much an intense workout as they are primarily aimed at maintaining mobility and overall health. Bergen described the workouts as a way to “remember how to move, keep your joints healthy … to get the blood pumping a little bit.” Her honesty about her fitness regimen reflects a pragmatic approach to health, particularly given her past experiences.

Bergen’s reflections serve as a reminder of the toll that caregiving can take and the vital need for caregivers to prioritise their own health and happiness. By sharing her journey, she inspires those in similar situations to remember that taking care of oneself is necessary for being able to care for others effectively.

In conclusion, Candice Bergen’s insights are not just valuable for caregivers but resonate with anyone navigating challenging times in their lives. Her emphasis on self-care, acceptance of limitations, and commitment to maintaining a healthy lifestyle provides a meaningful lesson in resilience and the importance of personal well-being.