Sarah Shahi, the actress famed for her role in Netflix’s “Sex/Life”, has revealed how portraying the character Billie inspired her to embrace significant changes in her own life, culminating in her decision to divorce her husband, Steve Howey. The 46-year-old actress opened up about her journey during a recent episode of Amanda Hirsch’s podcast, “Not Skinny But Not Fat”.
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Shahi’s marriage to Howey, which lasted 11 years and produced three children, officially ended in 2020. Her character, Billie, a restless suburban wife, drew parallels to Shahi’s own experiences, particularly during a transformative period in her life. The timing of the series’ release coincided with her divorce, and Shahi noted how deeply immersed she felt in her role. “I felt like I was being possessed by this character, Billie,” she stated, attributing to the role a newfound bravery that spurred her to do things she had long wished to pursue.
In her candid conversation, Shahi acknowledged that the journey to divorce is not something that happens abruptly, suggesting that her character’s influence played a pivotal role in her decision. “Billie was the push I needed,” she reflected, describing the cosmic alignment of events that made her feel like she was on a path that was almost divinely orchestrated. This period marked a significant shift in her life, where she felt an unusual strength flowing from her performance.
However, Shahi’s newfound courage did not come without its challenges. The actress admitted that she faced judgement from friends concerning her divorce. “I lost friends,” she revealed, explaining how some individuals who were once supportive questioned her decision, suggesting she should remain in an unhappy relationship. Shahi expressed dismay at the judgement she received from those who were struggling in their own relationships, arguing, “Why can’t I do that? I have the right to be happy.”
Reflecting on her marriage, Shahi acknowledged that it had its difficulties, particularly after the birth of their first child. “From the time that our first child was born, our relationship suffered,” she disclosed, noting that despite their lengthy time together—18 years in total—the last decade was marked by struggle. She emphasised that their long relationship should not be viewed as a failure, but as a significant part of her life story.
“Sex/Life” has been a notable milestone for Shahi, running for two seasons and introducing her to Adam Demos, who played her character’s former love interest in the series. Their relationship blossomed during filming, although Shahi clarified that it began as a friendship before evolving into a romance. She made it clear that her relationship with Demos was not immediate and that their connection developed over time based on shared values.
Though she and Demos recently ended their five-year relationship, Shahi maintains a perspective that prioritises personal happiness and growth. “I feel like we should, as individuals, have the right to be happy,” she reiterated, asserting the importance of pursuing joy and fulfilment in one’s personal life.
As she navigates her post-divorce life, Shahi continues to advocate for happiness and authenticity, using her experiences both on and off-screen to inspire herself and others. The impact of “Sex/Life” has undeniably resonated throughout her life, offering her a platform to explore her identity and aspirations.
As Sarah Shahi moves forward, her story stands as a testament to the courage required to pursue a fulfilling life, marking a new chapter for an actress who has used her craft as a means of personal exploration and transformation.