The recent documentary “4000 Days,” which debuted at the Tribeca Festival on June 10, provides a poignant look into the grief and activism of parents who have lost their children to fraternity hazing. Directed by Daniel E. Catullo III, the film highlights the harrowing experiences of three sets of parents—TJ and Kim Burch, Eric and Linda Oakes, and Julie and Gary DeVercelly—whose sons tragically died as a result of reckless hazing rituals.
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The documentary begins with Julie DeVercelly earnestly advocating for law reforms that would prevent other families from enduring the same heartbreak that she and her husband have lived with since their son Gary Jr. died in 2007. At the age of 18, Gary succumbed to the effects of alcohol after a fraternity initiation at Rider University in New Jersey. He had been left alone in a room after consuming a dangerous amount of alcohol, leading to a blood alcohol level of 0.426 percent, significantly above the legal limit for driving.
The film details the aftermath of Gary’s death, where two university officials and three students were charged, although the charges against the officials were eventually dismissed. The DeVercellys endured the painful process of seeing the students receive minimal consequences, with one settling for $150,000 and serving probation, highlighting a chilling lack of accountability in fraternity culture.
“4000 Days” derives its title from the time it took for the Stop Campus Hazing Act to become law, a landmark piece of legislation that President Joe Biden signed in December 2024. This act mandates that colleges and universities involved in federal student aid programmes report incidents of hazing, a significant step towards transparency and accountability in campus culture.
The documentary also explores the shared camaraderie among the grieving parents, describing their bond as a unique “club” formed through their collective loss. Julie DeVercelly reflects on how difficult it is for parents who have not lost children to hazing to comprehend their grief. “Only those parents whose sons and daughters have been killed or harmed from hazing can relate to what we go through every day,” she explains, emphasising the pain that comes from misdirected blame often placed on the victims.
The Oakes family’s grief is still fresh, having lost their only son, Adam, in 2021 after a night of hazing that resulted in an alcohol overdose. Adam, a 19-year-old at Virginia Commonwealth University, was abandoned on the floor, where he later became unresponsive. Eric Oakes elaborates on their journey towards raising awareness, stressing the importance of holding those responsible accountable in a more productive manner, rather than resorting to incarceration.
This approach not only aimed to seek justice for Adam but also sought to educate others about the dangers of hazing. The three young men involved were assigned to engage with students in a restorative justice programme, with Eric and his niece sharing Adam’s story to help prevent similar tragedies.
The Burch family recounts their experience after losing their son, Nolan, who died just after his 18th birthday from the consequences of a drunken initiation. The shocking footage included in the documentary shows the disregard for Nolan’s wellbeing as he was treated like “dead weight,” illustrating how deeply entrenched hazing rituals can lead to devastating outcomes.
Each family showcased in the film has established foundations to honour their sons and to advocate for policy changes, such as the Love Like Adam Foundation set up by the Oakeses and the initiative begun by the Burch family following Nolan’s death. Their ongoing commitment seeks to educate future generations about the dangers of hazing and create environments where such conduct is unequivocally condemned.
As they share the struggle of living without their beloved sons, the DeVercelly, Oakes and Burch families remind us of the lasting impact of these tragedies. The film invites viewers to confront uncomfortable truths about fraternity culture and the urgent need for reform across educational institutions.
The documentary serves as a call to action for communities to engage in discussions about hazing while also providing a platform for grieving parents to voice their stories. “If somebody had stepped up and gotten help for these kids, they would all be with us today,” implores TJ Burch, urging witnesses to intervene when they observe troubling situations.
The ongoing support for the families reflects a broader societal responsibility to foster safe environments in colleges and beyond. As more schools and Greek organisations assess their policies, “4000 Days” illustrates the potential for change arising from the unspeakable loss and collective activism of those who have faced the ultimate tragedy.