In a candid interview, Dr. Jessi Gold, a psychiatrist, shared her own struggles with mental health, illuminating the often-overlooked complexities of caring for oneself while providing care for others. Dr. Gold’s reflections underscore a pressing issue: the stigma surrounding mental health, not only in society but among healthcare professionals themselves.
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Initially drawn to anthropology, Dr. Gold sought to forge her own path, distinct from her father’s legacy in psychiatry. However, the nuances of understanding human experiences ultimately beckoned her back to the profession. “I wanted the time to hear a patient’s full life and social history,” she said. “In psychiatry, that kind of time still exists, fostering a deep connection with patients.” For Dr. Gold, the stories patients tell are integral to understanding their symptoms and shaping their treatment.
Growing up in a high-achieving family, Dr. Gold often grappled with perfectionism. Despite achieving commendable grades throughout her education, she found herself caught in a cycle of self-doubt. “I was functioning, achieving, and doing what I was supposed to be doing, so I told myself I must be fine,” she recounts. This dichotomy of outward success versus inward turmoil is a common experience that many individuals face yet feel compelled to ignore.
During her years at university, Dr. Gold masked her sadness, reflecting a broader societal misunderstanding about mental health. She recognised that the prevailing belief insinuated that one must feel well if they were performing well academically. “I hid my sadness because there was a lack of understanding that you can achieve straight As and still be depressed,” she explained.
As Dr. Gold progressed through medical school and eventually transitioned into psychiatry, she became increasingly comfortable discussing therapeutic approaches. Yet, she remained reticent about talking openly regarding medication. “I would often share insights from therapy on social media,” she noted, “but I hesitated to discuss medication for fear of how it might affect perceptions of my professionalism.”
Dr. Gold’s reluctance stemmed from concerns about how her emotional openness could impact her relationships in the workplace and with patients. “I worried that showing any significant emotion could be viewed as pathological, potentially jeopardising my qualifications in their eyes,” she reflected.
Recognising the crucial need for dialogue around mental health among healthcare workers, Dr. Gold authored her book, “How Do You Feel? One Doctor’s Search for Humanity in Medicine.” She identified a wave of professionals during the pandemic expressing feelings of isolation and uncertainty, inspiring her to facilitate discussions of shared struggles and vulnerabilities. “There was so much stigma and shame surrounding mental health,” she added. “I wanted to create a platform that allowed us to speak openly about our humanity.”
Dr. Gold’s decision to be candid about her emotional experiences ultimately fostered stronger connections with both her colleagues and patients. Following her disclosures, many patients expressed gratitude, citing her openness about medication as comforting and relatable. “My story made them feel safe to share theirs, especially when they faced difficulties,” she noted.
She now aligns herself with Generation Fine, a campaign designed to empower individuals to move beyond settling for the status quo of feeling ‘fine’. The initiative encourages conversations with healthcare providers about mental health, promoting awareness and resources for treatment. “The campaign affirms that just feeling fine shouldn’t be the goal,” Dr. Gold emphasised. “It’s about helping people realise that they can be seen and heard, and understand there are options available for them.”
Importantly, Dr. Gold advocates for individuals to pay attention to their mental signals and symptoms. She encourages open dialogue about feelings. “It may seem daunting to express that something feels off,” she acknowledged, “but it is a vital first step towards healing. Remember, depression often flourishes in silence.”
Through her experiences, Dr. Gold has learned that it is possible to navigate moments of feeling okay while simultaneously recognising when something is not right. “You can look fine yet still require support,” she advised, emphasising that everyone’s experiences matter, regardless of the comparative severity of others’ struggles.
Ultimately, Dr. Gold’s journey highlights a significant truth: mental health challenges can affect anyone, including those in positions of care. She encourages anyone who resonates with her story to seek support and not resign themselves to feeling ‘good enough.’ “You don’t have to accept a situation because it feels like the only option. There are paths to treatment and conversations that can open doors to better mental health.”
For anyone grappling with mental health difficulties, Dr. Gold reminds them that help is readily accessible. If you or someone you know is facing emotional distress or needs someone to talk to, resources are available 24/7 via the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org.