Deaf Mother Recalls Being ‘Overwhelmed’ and ‘Nervous’ After Giving Birth to First Hearing Child: ‘I’d Cry a Lot’ (Exclusive)

In an engaging and heartwarming account, Janet Moreno, a Deaf mother of four, shares her unique parenting journey, highlighting the challenges and triumphs she has encountered along the way. Reflecting on her experience, the 39-year-old mother acknowledges that parenting can be a daunting task, irrespective of one’s hearing status. “Whether you’re Deaf or hearing, parenting is hard,” she states, urging parents to give themselves grace during this often overwhelming phase of life.

Janet and her husband, Daniel, have been married for nine years and have welcomed four children, aged between one and seven. As she navigated motherhood for the first time, Moreno was faced not only with the typical worries of new parenthood but also additional concerns inherent to her Deaf experience. The early moments of caring for her first child were filled with joy but also trepidation, especially when it came to understanding her child’s needs without being able to hear them.

Admitting to feeling “overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and nervous,” Moreno recalls those initial days, revealing that she even struggled with self-doubt, often leading to tears. It was during these first few weeks that she began to depend on technology to assist her in parenting. To ensure she wouldn’t miss her baby’s cries, she employed a special device that vibrated her bed when her child needed attention. “That system became essential in helping me rest,” she recounts, emphasising how it brought her a sense of peace amid the whirlwind of new motherhood.

Moreno’s background as someone who became deaf during her teenage years equipped her with a heightened sense of observation. This skill became invaluable in her new role as a mother. The ability to read body language and pick up on subtle environmental cues allowed her to respond to her children’s needs proactively. “Because I’m Deaf, I’m really tuned into my kids’ needs, usually way before they even ask for something,” she explains, noting how years of honing these skills have become a powerful strength in her parenting.

As her confidence grew with each child, what had once necessitated external tools transformed into instinctive understanding. Moreno now describes how her co-sleeping practices have reinforced her bond with her children; being physically close allows her to sense shifts in their movements or energy, a connection that transcends auditory signals. She believes deeply in the idea that mothers know their children in ways that others cannot.

Communication stands at the core of how Moreno and Daniel maintain their parenting philosophy. From the moment their children were born, the couple made the conscious decision to communicate using American Sign Language (ASL). “I communicate with my children in ASL as soon as they are born,” she says, comparing it to how any parent would instinctively speak to their newborn. This early introduction to sign language not only strengthens their family bond but also ensures the children thrive in diverse communication environments.

As parents, Janet and Daniel work closely together to create a nurturing and supportive atmosphere. They make an effort to regularly check in with each other, especially during stressful times when children can easily pick up on anxious energies. Moreno highlights the importance of balance within their dynamic, stating, “It’s all about making sure we both feel balanced and supported.” This balance is achieved through structured routines that effectively incorporate technology, such as voice-to-text tools and visual monitors, alongside open communication.

Despite the solid foundation they have built, Moreno admits there are challenges that arise beyond the everyday tasks of parenting. She acknowledges the complexities involved in navigating their children’s identities as Children of Deaf Adults (CODAs), who inhabit a unique space between the hearing and Deaf worlds. “They are hearing, but their first language is ASL. They are hearing, but they don’t have a fully hearing family around them all the time,” she explains. Moreno and Daniel take pride in guiding their children, imparting the message that they are fortunate to enjoy the advantages of both cultures.

Over the years, what initially felt foreign has evolved into their version of normal. The integration of routines, technology, and communication methods has melded seamlessly into their daily lives, much like any family establishing their rhythm. With newfound confidence, Moreno has also recognised the importance of sharing her journey on social media, encouraging others to trust in their parenting instincts.

“Whether you’re Deaf or hearing, parenting is hard! Give yourself grace,” she tells fellow parents, stressing that mistakes are part of the journey. At the heart of her message is the notion that the love and dedication parents invest in their children is what truly matters. In a world where the challenges of parenting can often feel isolating, Janet Moreno’s story serves as a reminder of the strength that comes from embracing one’s unique circumstances and supporting one another through the highs and lows of raising children.