**Title: Cape Town Mother Champions Child-Led Extended Breastfeeding Amid Criticism**
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/Breastfeeding-Mom-tout-031926-f23ec826e5f24d0ba76dfaa3b77e0680.jpg)
In a world where parenting choices often come under scrutiny, Shinnai Visser, a mother from Cape Town, South Africa, is making waves for her commitment to extended breastfeeding and holistic parenting. On Instagram, where she shares her journey under the handle @mindful_mamma_za, Visser openly discusses her experiences, including home birthing, homeschooling, and nursing her daughters beyond infancy.
At 34, Visser is a mother of two and is no stranger to the polarising opinions surrounding her unconventional choices. Particularly, her decision to continue breastfeeding her four-year-old daughter has elicited a mix of admiration and scorn. Despite the backlash, she maintains a strong confidence in her approach, encouraging other mothers to trust their instincts.
Visser recounted the criticism she has faced, with some suggesting that her practices are inappropriate or unhealthy. “I’ve heard comments implying that it’s inappropriate, unhealthy, or that it creates too much dependence,” she shared in an exclusive interview. “Some people assume it’s about my needs rather than my child’s, which couldn’t be further from the truth.”
Her perspective on extended breastfeeding has evolved considerably through research, challenging traditional Western norms. Visser emphasises that her journey has been influenced by learning about breastfeeding practices in various cultures, revealing that humans have historically breastfed for far longer than the practices prevalent today in many Western societies. “It’s not biologically strange — it’s culturally unfamiliar,” she stated, reiterating that the stigma surrounding extended breastfeeding is often rooted in societal norms rather than biological reasoning.
Daily life for Visser and her children reflects her child-led approach to breastfeeding. With her four-year-old, she describes the experience as infused with intention, noting that the frequency of breastfeeding varies widely. “Some days she nurses once, and other times she doesn’t ask for a few days,” Visser explained. “At this stage, it’s very minimal and very intentional. It’s brief, calm, and led by her.”
Conversely, the situation is quite different with her 20-month-old, who nurses multiple times throughout the day and night. Visser feels that this frequency is developmentally appropriate, noting that it often serves as a source of comfort during stages of significant growth and teething.
In her view, the benefits of extended breastfeeding extend beyond mere nutrition. Visser highlights the importance of emotional development during this critical phase. “At this age, breastfeeding is less about nutrition and more about co-regulation,” she elaborated. For her older daughter, the act of nursing provides a calming sensory experience that aids in regulating emotions and nerve responses, enhancing the child’s emotional stability.
Describing the act of breastfeeding as a precious moment of connection, Visser believes it plays a vital role in fostering a sense of security. She draws a parallel to how adults often engage in comfort rituals, asserting that breastfeeding should be viewed as a relational tool, facilitating both emotional bonding and individual growth.
Visser feels she has witnessed tangible benefits in her older daughter’s emotional regulation and independence, highlighting that secure attachments can foster greater confidence. “Independence grows best from secure attachment, not forced separation,” she asserted, stressing that meeting emotional needs in early childhood lays the groundwork for confident development.
As for how long she intends to continue breastfeeding, Visser takes a flexible approach. She stated that her decision to wean will be based on what feels “mutually right” for both her and her children. “Weaning doesn’t need to be rushed to be healthy,” she explained, noting that her four-year-old is naturally starting to wean herself, a process she describes as “magical.”
Visser firmly believes that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of when to stop breastfeeding. Instead, she advocates for an individualised approach, characterised by child-led decision-making within a framework of parental guidance. “For some families, it’s earlier, for others later,” she said. “I prefer a child-led process supported by parental boundaries and intuition, rather than an age-based cutoff imposed by social expectations.”
Despite ongoing criticism and differing opinions, Visser remains steadfast in her beliefs. She encourages other mothers to educate themselves and to trust their own bodies, asserting that parents do not owe anyone an explanation regarding their family choices. “Confidence comes from understanding that there is no single ‘right’ way to mother,” she concluded, highlighting that informed and intentional parenting decisions stem from love and respect for both oneself and one’s children.
Visser’s story stands as a testament to the diverse ways parents navigate the complex world of child-rearing, inviting dialogue about breastfeeding practices and the societal norms that shape them.