Matt and Abby Howard, a couple known for their engaging content creation and podcast hosting, have publicly reflected on the loss of their baby girl, Emerson Nicole. The couple shared their experience of grief with their followers on social media, marking what would have been Emerson’s due date on February 28 with a heartfelt tribute.
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In a poignant Instagram post, they expressed their sorrow and love. “In another version of today, maybe we were holding you for the very first time,” they wrote alongside an intimate photograph showing the couple gazing down at a bouquet of white flowers. They added, “Today we are grieving you: our daughter and baby sister. We grieve because we love (so so much) and for the rest of our lives we will carry your love with us. Happy due date sweet Emerson Nicole.”
The Howards, who are also parents to two sons, Griffin and August, shared the news of Emerson’s loss on September 27. The couple revealed that Abby was around 17 weeks pregnant when the tragic news was communicated to them during a routine appointment. “It is with very heavy hearts that we share about the loss of our baby girl born far too soon,” they wrote at the time, accompanied by a touching image of their hands together in a hospital setting. “At a routine pregnancy appointment, our doctor could not find a heartbeat… I am so sorry I do not have good news,” they recalled hearing from the ultrasound technician.
The couple described the experience as unimaginable, relaying their profound sorrow and devastation over Emerson’s passing. Despite the heartbreak, they emphasised a sense of gratitude for the brief time they had with their daughter, stating, “We still have hope. Hope has continued to show up for us in so many ways.”
On October 8, they delved deeper into their experience during an episode of their podcast, “The Unplanned Podcast.” Abby recounted how the routine check-up took a dark turn when the nurse was unable to find a heartbeat. “Everything was just very routine. [The nurse] put the little Doppler on my abdomen, and she couldn’t find anything…” Abby recalled, describing the unsettling feeling that began to develop.
As further medical assessments were conducted, the couple was met with devastating news. “I just remember I literally grabbed [the ultrasound technician’s] arm and she said, ‘Abby, I don’t have good news for you,’” she continued, describing the moment as a significant turning point in her life. “It feels like there was an Abby [before] that moment and an Abby [after] that moment.”
The obtaining of such heartbreaking news struck hard, leaving Abby with profound feelings of loss as she entered the hospital, focusing on each step rather than the overwhelming reality of the situation. “I was just looking at my feet and I was just thinking. ‘One more step, more step, one more step,’” she reflected, illustrating how she compartmentalised her emotions during that challenging time.
The Howards have been open in sharing their journey through grief, offering support to others who may have experienced similar losses. By discussing their pain and coping mechanisms, they hope to shed light on the often-taboo subject of pregnancy loss, encouraging others to embrace their healing processes.
As they navigate their grief, Matt and Abby Howard serve as a reminder of the enduring power of love, even in the face of significant loss. They continue to honour their daughter Emerson Nicole, cherishing her memory while fostering hope and healing within their family unit. Their candidness in the face of sorrow resonates with many, showcasing the importance of community support in times of heartache.