The former star of the show ‘Big Family, Big City’ has opened up about feeling “brainwashed” by her previous church’s teachings and the strict dating rules she still abides by. Amber de la Mottes, a member of the de la Mottes family, shared her experiences in a recent TLC special where she discussed transitioning away from the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church after 15 years of following its “old-fashioned” and “untouched by worldly influences” doctrines. Her husband, Marc, reflected on the church’s rules, mentioning restrictions on women being quiet and subservient, wearing long skirts, and avoiding rock music. Their son, Elijah, even admitted to being sheltered from music with a beat until recently.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/BigFamilyBigCity_2-54_02252025-6f395799b8944707b35fb57a86c2fe3e.jpg)
The de la Mottes revealed that it took them a while to realise they were part of what Amber described as a “cult-like” environment, with Marc likening the situation to a frog boiling in water, slowly realising the intensity of their beliefs. After relocating to New York City, the family embarked on a journey to find their path and embrace new experiences while still holding onto traditional values. Despite seeking new beginnings, the family maintained conservative dating principles. When their daughter, Pearl, shared news of her relationship with Adam, her first boyfriend whom she had not yet kissed, her parents were cautious. Amber explained the family’s view on dating, emphasising its purpose towards marriage rather than casual relationships.
The couple laid out strict dating rules for their children, including limited texting, no excessive alone time, and a ban on kissing. They stressed the significance of dating with a clear goal of marriage in mind, rejecting the idea of casual dating. Their approach is rooted in traditional values and a deep commitment to their beliefs. When meeting Adam for the first time, Amber and Marc wasted no time inquiring about his intentions towards their daughter. His response aligned well with their principles, focusing on dating for the purpose of marriage as intended by God.
Throughout their discussion with Adam, the de la Mottes were impressed by his understanding and respect for their values. Despite coming across as slightly intimidating during their initial meeting, they appreciated his genuine responses. The couple expressed hope that Adam’s sincerity would continue to shine through. Their adherence to strict dating guidelines highlights their unwavering stance on the importance of relationships with a clear path towards marriage. The family continues to uphold their traditional values while navigating new experiences in their lives.
The recent revelations from the TLC special shed light on the de la Mottes family’s journey of self-discovery, transitioning away from a strict church environment to embrace a more open approach to life. Their story serves as a reminder of the challenges and rewards that come with reevaluating deeply ingrained beliefs and charting a new course based on personal growth and experiences. Despite the changes they have undergone, the de la Mottes remain steadfast in their commitment to honouring their values and guiding their children towards meaningful relationships rooted in shared principles and beliefs.