Even as a Teen, I Knew to be Wary of Men. How I’m Breaking the Culture of Silence Around Male Violence (Exclusive)

Katie Collom: Breaking the Culture of Silence Around Male Violence

Katie Collom, a seasoned author, shares her perspective on challenging the prevalent culture of silence surrounding male violence in an exclusive interview. Growing up in Mazatlán, Mexico, as a lifelong expat and world traveler, Collom recounts her early experiences navigating social settings shaped by expectations and fears related to male violence. From her formative years in Texas to her current home in York, England, Collom sheds light on the subtle nuances of gendered interactions that often go unnoticed.

At the age of 17, Collom vividly recalls attending her first ‘real’ party, filled with anticipation and trepidation. She vividly describes the mix of excitement and anxiety as she navigated unfamiliar social dynamics, highlighting the underlying fear and caution that have become ingrained in young women’s behaviour. The pressure to blend in while safeguarding oneself from potential harm is a delicate balancing act that many women are all too familiar with.

Reflecting on a pivotal moment at the party when she was offered a drink by a relative stranger, Collom unveils the internal dilemma she faced. The underlying fear of being labelled ‘dramatic’ or ‘hysterical’ for refusing the drink speaks volumes about the societal expectations placed on women to navigate potentially dangerous situations with subtlety and grace. This internal conflict underscores the broader issue of women bearing the burden of safety precautions while being deprived of a voice to express their fears openly.

Collom delves into the pervasive culture of silence that surrounds gendered violence, emphasising the precarious position women are placed in when trying to protect themselves without appearing ‘too obvious’ or ‘dramatic’. The insidious nature of these unwritten rules perpetuates a cycle of victim-blaming and internalised fear that inhibits women from speaking out against injustices or expressing their emotions freely. Collom’s poignant narrative sheds light on the complexities of female experiences in a society that often overlooks the subtle ways in which violence and oppression are perpetuated.

In her latest work, “Peter Miles Has to Die,” Collom explores themes of revenge and empowerment through the lens of three women seeking justice for a friend’s murder. Drawing inspiration from real-life incidents of gender-based violence that sparked public outrage, Collom channels her frustration and anger into a powerful narrative that challenges traditional gender norms and stereotypes. By allowing her female characters to reclaim their agency and defy societal expectations, Collom dismantles the notion of female ‘hysteria’ as a weakness and instead portrays it as a source of strength and resilience.

As Collom reflects on the pervasiveness of gendered violence and the silencing of women’s voices, she underscores the importance of creating spaces for women to express their emotions openly and assert their boundaries without fear of judgement. Through her storytelling, Collom seeks to empower women to reclaim their narratives and push back against the culture of silence that has long enabled male violence to thrive. By amplifying women’s voices and experiences, Collom advocates for a future where equality, respect, and safety are not privileges but inherent rights for all.